Star Trek Online

Star Trek Online (http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/index.php)
-   The Foundry for Star Trek Online - Mission Database (http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/forumdisplay.php?f=215)
-   -   The Devil's Playground (http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=1019191)

confedinblue 02-12-2014 04:57 AM

The Devil's Playground
 
Mission Title: The Devil's Playground ST-HE4GS98P8
by: @confedinblue
Faction: Federation
Minimum Level: 41+

You are ordered to the Noro System to investigate why contact was lost with a research team.

The story is light on dialog, but does have a story. I estimate taking about an hour to an hour fifteen minutes to complete. My personal feeling of heavy dialog is that if I wanted to read a book, I'd go to Barnes and Noble. There's enough dialog there to lead the story.

Both ground and space combat are included.

At one point, the Klingons had possession of the planet, but have lost interest due to lack of resources and have mostly withdrawn from the location. A Federation research team, without the Klingons' knowledge, posted a station there to monitor the withdrawal. That station has gone silent, and you are to investigate.

This is my first Foundry mission, and I would be interested in hearing what you think.


Coming soon--the KDF version of "The Devil's Playground".

confedinblue 02-19-2014 05:43 AM

Change Log:
Update March 2, 2014:

Map: Research facility
Added NPC dialog to better transition from "Explore facility" step to "Examine Epohh" step.
Raised one NPC group that was clipping in the floor.

Map: Facility Control room
Moved respawn point. With where the point was, a respawn could spawn the player into a wall. The new location should fix that.

Update Feb. 27, 2014:
Map: Colony remains
Removed and replaced with "Finding Research Station entrance".

Map: Deeper into the facility
Added block to force player into puzzle.

Map: Finding Research Station entrance
Changed Borg to Klingon
Replaced hut with tower.

Map: Facility Control room
Removed all but one neutral NPC
Added some enemies

Map: on the way out
Added enemies to give the feeling of being chased out of the facility

Map: To the transporter
Added enemies to give the feeling of being chased out.


Update Feb. 26, 2014:
Map: Noro System
Removed comets. Made the map look like some kind of Las Vegas casino strip. Had too many asteroids mixed in too close for the comets to really add anything.

Map: Colony remains
Relocated portal to be less subtle.

Map: Research Facility:
Changed text for "Go to next map" to "Use turbolift"
Added triggers to ensure player explores entire area.
Modified console so that it no longer uses "wander". Idle animation therefore is all it does--it couldn't wander, anyhow.
Added "pleasant" surprise after examining epohh.

Map: Deeper into the facility
Removed lighting effects. Most didn't work, anyhow, and the one that did, didn't really add anything
Added a simple puzzle. It should be just enough of a challenge--but not so much as to be frustrating.
Added some special effects that operate on triggers.
Added a group or two of enemies.
Added a dialog with a prop. Animation that goes with dialog isn't right--but there is no way to get what I want.

Map: Facility Control Room:
Removed 2 groups of neutral NPCs. They don't seem necessary anymore.

Map: Leaving Noro System:
Changed costume for dialog to be consistent--it originally changed upon first interaction.
Added a couple of asteroids to keep player from skimming the planet to avoid enemies. The enemies can still be avoided, but the player should now need to take a different route.

Update Feb. 23, 2014:

Map: Noro System
Added asteroids and debris to make map more interesting.

Map: Colony Remains
Added object that can be interacted with to add a little something to the story.

Map: Facility Control Room
Added invisible wall to keep the enemies from attacking the player until after he has had a chance to react.

Map: On the way out
Added interaction with Admiral Johnson Forsythe

Map: Leaving Noro System
Copied some of the added objects from the Noro System Map for story integrity.

evil70th 05-26-2014 10:14 AM

Mission Critique Report - The Devil's Playground
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by confedinblue (Post 15234401)
I would like to request a review of my mission, The Devil's Playground.

Mission Name: The Devil's Playground
Author: confedinblue
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HE4GS98P8
Estimated Mission Length: 1 to 1.25 hours

Forum Thread: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh....php?t=1019191

Summary: You are ordered to the Noro System to investigate why contact was lost with a research team.

Thanks!

Federation Mission - The Devil's Playground
Author: confedinblue
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HE4GS98P8

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: The mission is a good concept but needs work on the story, maps and battles. There is a lot of potential for developing this mission into a great mission with objectives, story dialogue, and tough battles. Below I mention the need for a more detailed description and grant dialogue in order to draw the player in. As the mission moved forward the lack of dialogue, objectives for the player to resolve, or even interaction with the multitude of scientist all over the station seemed odd. The multitudes of NPCs are all opportunities to use optional dialogue that adds to the story but does not require an actual mission objective. You could also use the multitudes of NPCs on the map to add actual mission objectives that tell different parts of the story. Do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a grind mission but even those types of missions need something to drive the mission forward from battle to battle.

Below are several things I wanted to let you know about. The use of the response button "Continue" has been covered in many of my reviews so I will not go into any real detail regarding it here.

Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: The description needs more of the story to draw the player in and make them want to click the 'Hail' button. It should be a summary of the overall story without giving anything away. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue also needs more of the story to draw the player in and make them want to click the 'Accept' button. The grant dialogue is where you really hook the player. The description will give the player a summary of the story but the grant dialogue is where you hook the player. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: The initial task is okay but consider adding the sector block so the player knows exactly where to start. I noted no spelling errors with this task

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Noro System: The map design is well done with placement of optional combat; however I am not sure this map is required. The only mission objective on the map is fly across and beam down. Consider adding more mission objectives or removing the map.

Finding Research Station Entrance: This is a simple map design with one low level enemy mob. The story dialogue is simple with no spelling or grammatical errors. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue" was used for every dialogue with the exception of the map transfer text. From this point I will note each map it is used on.
-There is an anomaly clearly visible to the left of the tower as you leave the clearing and yet no mention is made of it. No discussion, no investigation, it seems odd. Consider adding mission objectives regarding the presence of the anomaly or remove it.

Research Facility: This is a nice map design with simple battles. The story dialogue is simple with no spelling or grammatical errors. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue" for all dialogue.
-There is a Klingon Federation officer with the legs sticking in the support beam about 2 meters off the ground in the front of the turbo lift. It was also visible before the "Get to turbolift" task was available. Was this intentional?
-If the facility is a Federation science facility why is it Klingon in design? There is nothing in any of the dialogue that explains it.
-One of the mission tasks has the player "Explore facility" but there are no obvious objectives for the player to explore. Simply moving around the facility I appeared to achieve that goal. The player walks past federation scientists without examining or checking them in anyway. These are opportunities to place optional mission objectives that the player can examine but do not hold up the mission.
-There is an NPC standing in one of the rooms at the end of the corridor that appears to be one of the enemy that attacks us later in the map. There is no indication of her purpose in the room or on the map at that point. Consider adding optional dialogue with this NPC to add to the story.

Deeper into facility: This is a nice map design with simple battles. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue" for all dialogue.
-Getting to the consoles for the "Check computer logs" tasks felt really unnecessary. The battles with the epogh felt odd. The obstacles that first blocked us and then disappeared seemed odd. It appeared to add nothing to the mission or the story.
-The log review; consider changing "direct him to Quo'nos" to read "direct him to Qo'noS".
-The map transfer dialogue appears to be one of my BOFFs on the ship. Consider making it a tactical BOFF or other away team member.

Facility Control room: This map design is okay but needs some work. The battles are very tough and overwhelming. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The objective is there and the location on the map but no dialogue explaining anything the player is supposed to do in the room.
-The console used in the mission task "Close portal to Gre'thor" is buried in the deck in front of the command chair.

On the way out: This is a nice map design with very tough battles. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue" for all dialogue.

To the Transporter: This is a nice map design with very tough battles. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The objective is there and the location on the map but no dialogue explaining anything except when the player reaches the transporter.

Leaving Noro System: This is a nice map design with several tough battles and only one required battle to end the mission. It is essentially a grinder battle with no respawn points. I used my cloaking device to bypass most of the bad guys that were not required to finish the mission. There is nothing at the end of the map to wrap the mission up. Consider adding dialogue that has the player report the final status.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. The concept is good but you need to work on the mission execution a little more to make it a great mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 05/26/2014 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:41 AM.