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-   -   Slaves or Saviours - my first mission (http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=195270)

Archived Post 12-28-2010 08:24 AM

Slaves or Saviours - my first mission
 
I have just finished my first mission on the Foundry and just tested it myself. It is currently bug-free but please be free to look for some.
The space combat seems to not be so difficult so maybe play it on an increased difficulty? It might make the ground combat quite challenging however. But don't worry, I have placed four respawn points in my ground map so there won't be those annoying backtracking from your original spawn point all the way back to where you were and getting the 'trying-not-to-get-your-away-team-stuck-behind-every-door-problem' when you die.

Please test it out and tell me what you think ;) Some info:

Title: Slaves or Saviours

You have received a mission from Councilor Adler, a Federation politician. He has taken an interest into the Humanoid Trafficking Taskforce and managed to recruit some ships away from the frontline to assist in ending a slaver-operation.

He seems like a selfless humanitarian but he has an alterior motive.

A mathematician who seems to be the key to an important military contract has been put into slavery as well.

Report to the Celes-system to start your mission.


- Chrepht

Archived Post 01-16-2011 03:13 PM

Dude, that was the BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST mission I have played so far. Fricking RAD!!!!! :D

Very creative use of different kinds of aliens. It was great to not just see a bunch of Klingons or Cardassians, but a variety of faces.

Nice use of hardware details in the problem solving. It read like a real Star Trek mission where people used what information they had to come up with solutions.

Nice details such as insulting the Tellarite, that shows you know the show. Tiny details like that add real depth to the mission.

I loved the creature that spoke in binary and a computer was used to decode his speech. Very creative and not difficult but adds variety. Something we've never seen in any of the STO mission. The lady at the end that spoke of the warp core as a dance of two gods. Wild dude, very wild and again creative. So much better than any of the generic kill this and that missions.

The only thing I would change is dial down the pew pew. There is no need to shoot at six or seven groups at a time. In a Star Trek episode, you would typically only fight one ship at a time. Maybe you would engage, two mobs at a time but no more than that. Dial down the mobage, it's the most boring part of the mission. You've got more than enough creativity to make the mission fun, focus on that.

What's the next one about? :rolleyes:

Archived Post 01-16-2011 05:55 PM

I'm going to assume English isn't your first language so if you need help with the grammar please post it here and the forum will be happy to help. The review I made did not take grammar into consideration.

Now...

The first thing I noticed is that you never specified where the Celes system was. You should tell us what sector block it's in.

Next, you wrote a Captain's log. Please don't tell my character what to say. He's my character and that's my captain's log, something I am perfectly capable of writing.
Next, I had to beam onto another ship for no reason at all. The mission report was long and held no useful information. Plus it could have easily been transmitted over subspace radio, which was what I thought the original contact did.

Next the freighter of scientists. I have no idea why they were attacked and why the crew wasn't taken as slaves. Also, why did they hate me? Seriously, why did federation scientists hate starfleet, especially the captain that just saved them? I get they hated war but war or not, we wouldn't have done anything different. It's not like they were able to send out a distress call. No one knew they were missing.

You also put too many words in my mouth. I'm an engineer yet I spoke like I was someone else. Made me feel like I was watching an episode of Voyager instead of playing an episode of Voyager.

Your desire to put cargo containers in the hall way puzzles me. Why would anyone clutter up a high traffic hallway with cargo containers?

You also need to reposition the volcano plant farther back. I can see it in the console.

Next your solution on how to find the ships made no sense.
If they were all naussican ships, why did some of them use different weapons? And why didn't I see those weapons when I eventually fought them?
Next, why did I care about which ship took him? They all went in the same direction and the guy had a transponder chip.
Also, "The ship was very old".... how did we know? And even if it was, why on Vulcan would they have flakes fly off? That's not how Warp works. Warp drive creates a subspace bubble around the ship which allows it to lower the mass of what's inside, partially submerge it in subspace, then fold space around the ship. The stress is when the ship doesn't have enough power to the warp field to lower it's mass or the warp field is unstable and various parts have different mass ratios. (like the front of the ship being 50% normal mass while the back being 10%.)

Next the combat in the "chase" map was fine but finding each ship was frustrating. The area was too large and the ships too far apart. Plus, I found the "flagship" first and wondered why I couldn't beam over to it and skip the rest? I suggest removing the "kill the 5 squads" and simply let me find it first then once I get to the reach marker, spawn in a squad to protect the ship. That way I get the combat or ignore it while searching but always get some combat.

This is where the story falls apart.
I get that there was a slave revolt even though the captain said nothing about it and there wasn't any indication. I don't understand how I beamed through his shields though nor why there was a jamming field over Engineering when the shields would have prevented beamout easily enough.

Next the "binary language". Binary is a very slow language and if he can vibrate his laranx, he can speak in analog, not binary. Unless his laranx can only produce one frequency. A good concept but it would have been better if you didn't explain it or perhaps had him be a Binar or have no laranx and speak through some form of device which was damaged.

Again, the hallways had containers in them. Why I do not know.

Next you have the engineer and the slaves. I get that you couldn't lower the force field but you can't beam through force fields either. That's one of the point of a force field. Also, why would you link your comm badges to the ship's life sign monitor? And why would that mean you couldn't be beamed up?

Then the shuttle....
I thought the escape would be some kind of daring escape but it wasn't. Now I like how messing with the EPS manifold caused the captain to know there was a problem but one would think that his guards would have given a warning or his sensors detected a beam in or something.
And why did the fire suddenly occur on the ship? Fire surpression shouldn't be offline nor should fires break out from the safe removal of a starship component.

Also, as a map tip, smoke should be on the top and fill the hall way, not on the bottom. Fog goes on the bottom, smoke from fire always rises to the top. If you put the smoke to fill the whole hallway, that would work better.
Also add in text about how you'll bring the Environmental and Fire surpression systems offline when taking out the EPS manifold. That'll help the story.

The final fight was hard... on normal. Seriously, 2 high level squads at once? Not fun.

And when you revealed about the transponder I asked one question: why didn't I scan for that in the first place? Or why didn't the naussicans remove it? Surely they would have known.
And why did they think that a person claiming to be the scientist who was clearly a different species would fool me? Didn't I have a picture of the guy?
Since that guy couldn't do anything, I suggest making it a hologram. Though the thought that the scientist seems to think that Starfleet Captains wouldn't help a ship full of slaves, most of which have taken over the ship, is very odd.

So, I kill the captain, take a hypospanner and...
I have to fly out? Couldn't I have simply shut down main power or disabled the jamming field myself? That way I could beam out and not have to worry.
And why did I have to blow up the ship? Seems like overkill to destroy a ship where the slaves managed to take control of all areas except the one area that I just took control of.


Summary:
Your dialog was fine but not for me. For another captain, sure, but not for my captain. The dialog of the others was also fine and well though out.
The story had far too many plot holes.
Your positioning on maps needs work. (at least remove the cargo containers from the hallways.)
Enemy squads need space. Each squad is designed to be a challenge as a squad. Multiple squads in the same area are often too difficult to defeat.
Make sure you give better background on why the Naussicans are after this scientist. Sure the encrypted data sounded good but I never knew what it was for nor why the Naussicans simply left the scientists alive when they should have captured them, destroyed their ship, and left to interrogate their prisoners.


I will say that creating the various aliens and their culture was nice and you could definitely use that skill to your advantage.

Archived Post 01-16-2011 05:56 PM

Quote:

I loved the creature that spoke in binary and a computer was used to decode his speech. Very creative and not difficult but adds variety. Something we've never seen in any of the STO mission.
You never played "Cold Case" have you? In that you used a tricorder and medical records to determine the proper treatment for a patient.

Archived Post 01-16-2011 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordDave (Post 3287759)
snip

One thing though, about the crates in halls, some maps have those placed there by Cryptic and as you can't move things Cryptic placed, it might not be the author's fault. I know in one of my missions there are crates in the corridor that are really annoying, but I couldn't ditch them but the station map was definitely the only one that I wanted.

And the Deferi medical thing was in Cold Comfort. There's also something similar in Skirmish from the Devidian series where you are in the Cardassian sickbay and also the Bajor diplomacy missions where you have to find evidence on a computer is similar. ;)

Archived Post 01-16-2011 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galactrix (Post 3287869)
One thing though, about the crates in halls, some maps have those placed there by Cryptic and as you can't move things Cryptic placed, it might not be the author's fault. I know in one of my missions there are crates in the corridor that are really annoying, but I couldn't ditch them but the station map was definitely the only one that I wanted.

True, but I think that was originally an empty hallway. Most of the cryptic generic maps have clear hallways.

Quote:

And the Deferi medical thing was in Cold Comfort. There's also something similar in Skirmish from the Devidian series where you are in the Cardassian sickbay and also the Bajor diplomacy missions where you have to find evidence on a computer is similar. ;)
Ah, thanks.

Archived Post 01-17-2011 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordDave (Post 3287760)
You never played "Cold Case" have you? In that you used a tricorder and medical records to determine the proper treatment for a patient.

No one spoke in binary in Cold Case, or any other STO mission. I've played them all on the Fed side.

Archived Post 01-17-2011 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordDave (Post 3287759)
I'm going to assume English isn't your first language so if you need help with the grammar please post it here and the forum will be happy to help. The review I made did not take grammar into consideration.

Now...

The first thing I noticed is ...

I'm curious to check out your missions and their content. They must be so much better. ;)

Archived Post 01-17-2011 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by exyle (Post 3288753)
No one spoke in binary in Cold Case, or any other STO mission. I've played them all on the Fed side.

Im wondering how far your going to take bashing cryptic's stuff. To the point where one reason their missions suck is because they dont have someone talking in binary.

Archived Post 01-17-2011 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by exyle (Post 3288757)
I'm curious to check out your missions and their content. They must be so much better. ;)

Have you tried The Longing by RachelGarrett?


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