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-   -   My Foundry Saga's (http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=197987)

Archived Post 01-20-2011 10:49 AM

My Foundry Saga's
 
From some advice given by Stormshade, I'm starting this thread to promote my missions in the Foundry on their own and hopefully get some more reviews and helpful critique.
I have one full series and two parts of another series to this point.

The first series is The Parasite Saga in six parts.

Parasitic Nightmare: You and your crew are sent to Theta Omicron Prime, a planet deep within the Iconia system, to locate the missing USS Stratford. It begins as a routine search and rescue mission, but what you find there is anything, but routine.

Lost Hope: Following the Stratford incident, Starfleet orders you and your crew to return to Theta Omicron Prime in order to investigate the colony, Hope. The Stratfords last mission had been to deliver supplies to Hope Colony, but on the surface things have gone terribly wrong.

Immoral Conduct: After finding information on Hope Colony regarding a secret Romulan research Facility on Theta Omicron Prime, you are ordered to investigate the co-ordinates recovered and try to get to the bottom of what's happening. Things dont go smoothly, and a new enemy is revealed, the Reman Captain Valek.

Of Parasites and Men: After the investigation of the Romulan Facility, Starfleet has sent the USS Pandora to Theta Omicron Prime to investigate and attempt to find some cure or vaccine for the parasite infection. You must find the Pandora and make sure the Vaccine reaches Earth!

The Siege of Malkeiris: With the Vaccine safely in Federation hands, a plan is put into motion to weaponise the serum, dubbed Curator, in order to make standard weapons more effective against those infected by the parasites. Panzer station, located on the planet Malkeiris deep within the Sierra system, has the facilities needed for such a task, but Valek has other plans!

Into the Heart of Darkness: The final battle against Valek and his forces. Having discovered Valeks base of operations, a Federation battle group has been dispatched to shut it down and you are sent to assist. Prepare for Battle!

My second series is entitled, The Artifact Saga and so far I have the first two parts up and running.

Enjoy your stay at Risa: A distress call is received from Risa claiming a Klingon assault force is attacking and you are sent to assist. It seems the Klingons are searching for something, but what?

Paracellsus Sword: After the attack on Risa, Klingon activity in the Sirius and Regulus sectors has gone quiet, except an experimental Destroyer class vessel, the USS Paracellsus, has gone missing near the Briar Patch. Could the Klingons be involved? More is uncovered regarding the mysterious artifacts and the mastermind behind the plans reveals herself!

Any and all feedback is welcome, and please be aware that every reccommendation a fellow player has made regarding my missions has been taken on board and put into place as I find constructive criticism very helpful when it comes to giving the people what they want. Thank you all for your time :)

Archived Post 01-20-2011 01:19 PM

I've played Parasitic Nightmare! It was good :)

Archived Post 01-20-2011 05:01 PM

Thank you. I seem to remember your review mentioned line breaks in text, something I implemented straight away :)

Archived Post 01-20-2011 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ultima_Prime
Thank you. I seem to remember your review mentioned line breaks in text, something I implemented straight away :)

It sure does make things easier to read.

Archived Post 01-21-2011 06:18 AM

Agreed, I think I was just really into the storyline I was creating and it never occured to me, but that's why I love reviews cause they help me spot things I've missed and things to improve upon :)

Archived Post 01-21-2011 10:52 AM

I've played and reviewed the first three of your 6-mission story arc... well done, but I think some more polish in the dialogue is in order... seems like the review I pm'd you would apply to the first 3 missions and not just #3.

I understand the difficulty in editing one's own work. Your perspective is not very valid compared to someone who did not write it and know what it is supposed to be about.

The proper rationing of information and switching from the Cryptic Style of the players Captain being told what to do at all times - to the Author making the players Captain actually Command his BO's is an important evolution in writing style that takes some time to comprehend and properly execute...

However, I believe that exploring this method brings the player into the story more as a protagonist than we normally see in standard missions. I personally can't stand to be lectured by an underling... it is a simple matter to switch things around and have the Captain ask the questions first and then receive a properly terse response or to use multiple dialogue boxes to break up multiple paragraphs...

If a conversation moves beyond one paragraph between characters I would break it up and add player responses or questions or orders to avoid the Text Overload...

The actual amount of information remains the same... but is broken up into manageable pieces for the player to digest while still "feeling" like they are in command.

I know this is a re-hash of what I PM'd you before, but I thought that other authors could benefit from this...

All this is, of course, my opinion and I hope some will find it helpful...

Archived Post 01-21-2011 11:23 AM

Awesome! Do your missions have any level restrictions?

Archived Post 01-22-2011 05:59 PM

As before Napoleon, your opinions and views are very helpful and I intend to work backwards through the missions and adress the issue for all of them ;).

Unfortunatley Nagus, they do. The problem I had was to make the enemies react as I needed meant I had to use the Undine as a base and add costumes over the top, limiting the levels to players of level 46 I believe. The second saga has no such restrictions :)

Archived Post 01-22-2011 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ultima_Prime
As before Napoleon, your opinions and views are very helpful and I intend to work backwards through the missions and adress the issue for all of them ;).

Unfortunatley Nagus, they do. The problem I had was to make the enemies react as I needed meant I had to use the Undine as a base and add costumes over the top, limiting the levels to players of level 46 I believe. The second saga has no such restrictions :)

Understood. I actually played your first mission the other night and had a good time. I am curious though, if these people are simply infected with some virus, why are they shooting energy blasts from their hands? If that will be explained in another episode so be it, just something I wondered :D

Archived Post 01-25-2011 06:45 AM

It is explained in the second part briefly then in more detail in the third. With using Undine as a base, I had to find some way to explain the psionic abilities of the Undine in the story line. The explaination is that the infection causes limited psionic abilities within the mutants. It's a little thin, but it seemed unimportant in the grand scale of the storyline, hope no one minds :)


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