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-   -   Concrete feedback offered for non-combat missions (http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=219166)

Archived Post 06-11-2011 02:18 PM

Concrete feedback offered for non-combat missions
 
If there are any authors working on non-combat diplomacy/solo RP missions, I'm willing to offer in-depth, concrete feedback to help fine tune your story. I only have one requirement. It has to be non-combat (that means no combat at all. See Starfleet Experimentation by Bazag and We Will Not Wander More by TheCentipede for examples of really high quality non-combat but not exploitive missions). I've seen some excellent diplomacy missions with combat (The Spirits of Ramok Nor by alimac30 comes to mind as does Sorti Rising by Commodore_Stipe) but that's not what I'm looking for. Personally, I'd like to see more missions that replace combat with puzzles and attention requirements (You did read all the text, didn't you? Click through = FAIL) so to that end, I'd like to help 'make it so', to coin a phrase. :p

Just post the details here or PM me and I'll get crackin'. :)

Archived Post 06-11-2011 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Remianen (Post 3586912)
If there are any authors working on non-combat diplomacy/solo RP missions, I'm willing to offer in-depth, concrete feedback to help fine tune your story. I only have one requirement. It has to be non-combat (that means no combat at all. See Starfleet Experimentation by Bazag and We Will Not Wander More by TheCentipede for examples of really high quality non-combat but not exploitive missions). I've seen some excellent diplomacy missions with combat (The Spirits of Ramok Nor by alimac30 comes to mind as does Sorti Rising by Commodore_Stipe) but that's not what I'm looking for. Personally, I'd like to see more missions that replace combat with puzzles and attention requirements (You did read all the text, didn't you? Click through = FAIL) so to that end, I'd like to help 'make it so', to coin a phrase. :p

Just post the details here or PM me and I'll get crackin'. :)

I've been very slowly working on my diplomacy mission for a few months, and I'm on act 3 now. I have the sets almost built, and the last phase will be the dialogue and puzzles.

I'd love some feedback on it, when it's published, maybe in a few weeks or so. Thanks for the offer.

Archived Post 06-12-2011 05:52 PM

Co-incidently I've just put up a sequel for Starfleet Experimentation.

It's called Hidden Intelligence and is a non-combat mission of discovery and exporation. For now it's just got one review, so any reviews at all are welcome.

Edit: It's now got the 5 reviews needed for mass marketing but I'd still appreciate any feedback.

Archived Post 06-13-2011 01:21 PM

While I would love your in-depth feedback I'm afraid the first mission of my Star Trek: SSR series does, in fact, have two little fights that are part of the story and can therefore not be circumvented like other fights. They are quite easy, though.

If you're still interested, give ST-SSR, E01: "Black Boxes" a try.

Archived Post 06-18-2011 07:58 AM

Hi, my diplomacy mission is now published. "The Return to Terra Nova."

Thanks!

Archived Post 06-19-2011 12:34 PM

Sorry for the delay. I was, uh, kidnapped and held in Rhode Island until the ransom was paid.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bazag
Co-incidently I've just put up a sequel for Starfleet Experimentation.

It's called Hidden Intelligence and is a non-combat mission of discovery and exporation. For now it's just got one review, so any reviews at all are welcome.

Edit: It's now got the 5 reviews needed for mass marketing but I'd still appreciate any feedback.

OMGZ the sequel! On it now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patarival (Post 3589136)
While I would love your in-depth feedback I'm afraid the first mission of my Star Trek: SSR series does, in fact, have two little fights that are part of the story and can therefore not be circumvented like other fights. They are quite easy, though.

If you're still interested, give ST-SSR, E01: "Black Boxes" a try.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kirkfat (Post 3599106)
Hi, my diplomacy mission is now published. "The Return to Terra Nova."

Thanks!

I'll be doing all three now.

Archived Post 06-19-2011 06:52 PM

"The Return to Terra Nova"
Run with: Commander 3 Reniara, Trill Science Officer


First let me say that I love the premise. Digging up ol' Terra Nova for a story is a great idea. Some minor nits:

Admiral Lovejoy's dialogue needs a 'with' (between 'familiar' and 'the' in the Great Experiment intro).

I don't think it's a good idea to make every "correct" response the same line. I answered as the character would and going through it again, found out that if I just chose one particular line in every dialogue, the story would progress (and I wouldn't get a tongue lashing or called names :p).

The last bits of Archer's log has an extra 'the' ("Diplomacy and first contacts may become the one of the most challenging aspects of these continued voyages").

The second conversation with Dr. Headrick could probably be ended with a 'Thank you' (instead of 'End Conversation'). It's kinda jarring to be going through this (very well written) back and forth dialogue only to have it end abruptly.

On Terra Nova, when you speak to the Engineering officer, there's a typo (reprocussions instead of 'repercussions') in their response.

At the end of the Terra Nova portion when Dr. Headrick hails, the instruction says 'Lach Shuttle....' (should be 'Launch').


I loved this mission. Gave it 5 stars because I can't take away points for minor typos when there is SO much writing. I loved the symbolism (surrounding the pyramid) and the logic made perfect sense (in a 1+1=2 kinda way). It really underlines the importance of the Prime Directive and why it exists in the first place (as imperfect as it might be at times). Kurtzan was an extremely well written character (both pitiable and despicable in equal measure) and the arc as a whole allows the player to really respond and react in a way their character would. I kinda dislike arcs that basically speak for my characters and direct them in rote fashion (kinda like, oh I dunno, "theme parks"? :p). This mission allowing me to make different choices and have different results from different characters is an excellent touch.

Archived Post 06-19-2011 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Remianen (Post 3601301)
"The Return to Terra Nova"
Run with: Commander 3 Reniara, Trill Science Officer


First let me say that I love the premise. Digging up ol' Terra Nova for a story is a great idea. Some minor nits:

Admiral Lovejoy's dialogue needs a 'with' (between 'familiar' and 'the' in the Great Experiment intro).

I don't think it's a good idea to make every "correct" response the same line. I answered as the character would and going through it again, found out that if I just chose one particular line in every dialogue, the story would progress (and I wouldn't get a tongue lashing or called names :p).

The last bits of Archer's log has an extra 'the' ("Diplomacy and first contacts may become the one of the most challenging aspects of these continued voyages").

The second conversation with Dr. Headrick could probably be ended with a 'Thank you' (instead of 'End Conversation'). It's kinda jarring to be going through this (very well written) back and forth dialogue only to have it end abruptly.

On Terra Nova, when you speak to the Engineering officer, there's a typo (reprocussions instead of 'repercussions') in their response.

At the end of the Terra Nova portion when Dr. Headrick hails, the instruction says 'Lach Shuttle....' (should be 'Launch').


I loved this mission. Gave it 5 stars because I can't take away points for minor typos when there is SO much writing. I loved the symbolism (surrounding the pyramid) and the logic made perfect sense (in a 1+1=2 kinda way). It really underlines the importance of the Prime Directive and why it exists in the first place (as imperfect as it might be at times). Kurtzan was an extremely well written character (both pitiable and despicable in equal measure) and the arc as a whole allows the player to really respond and react in a way their character would. I kinda dislike arcs that basically speak for my characters and direct them in rote fashion (kinda like, oh I dunno, "theme parks"? :p). This mission allowing me to make different choices and have different results from different characters is an excellent touch.

Wow, thanks so much for the detailed response and the list of typos. I went through the text for days and they are still so easy to miss sometimes. I'm going to fix now. Thank you!

Archived Post 06-19-2011 10:16 PM

"Hidden Intelligence"
Run with: 1) Commander 3 Reniara, Joined Trill Science Officer; 2) Commander 1 T'Rissa, Vulcan Tactical Officer; 3) Vice Admiral Tarania, Human Engineering Officer

I admit that there were some details I missed on the first run through (my notes weren't nearly long enough), so I did it twice more. I really like how this mission doesn't require the prior mission to get into. The events (and resolution) of the first mission are summarized in the early parts of this mission. Very nice touch!

A suggestion: After talking to the Physical Sciences Researcher (after the console), a prompt to beam up would be good. Not sure if it's possible, being in an open zone and all.

Slight typo after the thing in the transporter room ("It wasn't an agressive action...", should be 'aggressive').

After analyzing the asteroid in Gateway, the Engineering officer goes on quite the run-on, stream of consciousness style ("There are also indications of a collision with some kind of ship I can't determine what kind it was but I'd be surprised from the damage if its crew made it alive to the planet.")

"The Blob's fleeing! Quick, after it!" (apostrophe needed since it's only one blob)

After the "We might have killed it" dialogue, the player's response is missing an "all" (right).

The authentication code puzzle is AWESOME! Is it possible to randomize it though? I used the same code on all three characters.

Post transport from the crate, the new thing's Science officer dialogue needs a space ("This is speech. If I can just calibrate my tricorder to read thevibrations....).

During the conversation with "it" (trying not to spoil anything), during the 'Where are you from?" dialogue, the player's response (one of them) is "And then you found youself at Memory Alpha?" The other choice is "and then I took you to Memory Alpha" (the 'a' should probably be capitalized).

Fredicks Kessel?

Cargo entry: "Necessary for this particular cargo as its phasic abilities allow it go through any force field or small area required to reach any part of the ship to allow it to 'eat' the baryon particles it finds there." (Could to a 'to' there and perhaps broken up a bit?)

The quiz at the end was a nice touch too!


Five stars, easy. I need to do it a few more times to check out how the various responses and combinations differ, but the mission itself is excellent. One odd thing I noticed though. This mission doesn't seem to give the 11sp/50 BO sp thing like other diplo missions do (or any diplo xp). Is that a bug?

Archived Post 06-20-2011 03:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Remianen (Post 3600890)
Sorry for the delay. I was, uh, kidnapped and held in Rhode Island until the ransom was paid.

I'll be doing all three now.


Thanks a lot, Remianen, for trying mine even though it has those two fights.

English is not my first language, by the way, so I'm happy if you hunt down these pesky typos and grammar mistakes and help me to get rid of them.


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