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-   -   "Slaves and Seductions" - Feedback, please (http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=227742)

Archived Post 08-10-2011 06:18 PM

"Slaves and Seductions" - Feedback, please
 
Hi,

I published a 2nd mission called "Slaves and Seductions" this week. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Also, I'm not happy with the name of the mission, so if you have any suggestions, please share.

Thanks all,

Archived Post 08-20-2011 03:37 AM

Cool mission. I submitted review 4 stars. As far as alternate titles I dunno.. Something like "A very pleasant hostile takeover" or... to borrow a meme from another popular franchise "It's a [honey] trap!" :p

Archived Post 08-21-2011 06:33 AM

I liked it alot, I especially liked the visual FX during the sequence in Namaar's quarters.

Having things to do in the ready room while en route was a nice touch too.

Archived Post 08-22-2011 03:16 PM

Fun mission! And just for the record, I gave Dan double shifts :o

Archived Post 03-10-2012 05:32 PM

Mission Critique Report - Slaves and Seductions
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kirkfat (Post 4070546)
OK, I'll submit my third mission for review.

It's called "Slave and Seductions." I'm pretty sure it's lower level mobs.

Federation Mission - Slaves and Seductions
Author: kirkfat
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HIQ8NZWHB

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This mission is outstanding from the map design through the detailed dialogue and onto the great battles. Your execution of effects, interaction animations, battles and mission objectives is great. I really enjoyed the mission from start to finish. It was a veritable rollercoaster ride with twists and turns in the story that kept me riveted to my seat. Despite the long day Iíve had today I wanted to press on and see what would happen next. I would highly recommend this mission to anyone who loves great map design combined with good battles and excellent story dialogue.

Below are three things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a very simple but intriguing description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is an excellent grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good task with the location of the mission start clearly indicated. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: Cryptic map usage. Good use of the prompt.

MAPS:
Drozana System (Cryptic map): This is a good use of the Cryptic map. There was no mission specific dialogue on this map.

Drozana Station (Cryptic map): This is a great use of the Cryptic map. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the use of map elements. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

Ready Room: This is a good map design. I only wish there were no issues with exiting from the Ready Room for the Foundry maps. Is this an issue with all Bridge maps? The story dialogue is outstanding. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Kassae IV: This is a great map design with a good battle. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Engineering BOFF dialogue; consider changing "Bird of Prey's" to read "Klingon shuttle".

Sickbay: This is a good map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The turbolift entrance appears to be a little high. It caught my eye while I was turning to talk to the Orion.

Guest Quarters: This is a good map design. I understand the reason for the light adjustment as it adds to the effect of the remaining dialogue. The story dialogue is excellent. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the dialogue "[FirstName], It surprises me" to read "[FirstName], it surprises me".

Servrona System: This is a good map design with a nice battle. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Deck 9: This is an interesting map design. I like the effects you used. The dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Deck 9#2: This is an outstanding map design with good tough battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Horktham Prime: This is a great map design with good battles to wrap up the story. The story dialogue is outstanding. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. Your work on this mission is simply outstanding. I look forward to more of your missions in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 03/10/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.

Archived Post 03-10-2012 06:29 PM

Thanks Evil. Great catch on that typo of [FirstName],

Your in-depth reports are really great.

Archived Post 03-10-2012 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kirkfat (Post 4084345)
Thanks Evil. Great catch on that typo of [FirstName],

Your in-depth reports are really great.

Glad I could help.

Thanks for authroing
Brian

Archived Post 03-13-2012 10:17 PM

A Highly Polished and Enjoyable Mission
 
This was an expertly crafted mission, with a great story and believable (albeit occasionally humorous) characters. You have an excellent command of both humor and substance, and you clearly know your Trek lore. On a side note, I enjoyed the inside-jokes and the shout-outs to some of your friends at StarbaseUGC (ahem, "Dr. Aharvah?") The special effects were very well done--particularly the Orion pheromones. My favorite part of the mission was the near-perfect dialogue. Well done!

As far as names go, Slaves and Seductions captures the theme of your mission very well. The only thing I could come up with as a possible substitute was Orion Intoxication, or just plain Intoxication... but I'm not sure that either of those would be better (I'll let you know if I think up anything else).


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