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-   -   Demon Planet - a homage to classic adventure games (http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=254526)

Archived Post 02-12-2012 06:45 PM

Demon Planet - a homage to classic adventure games
 
Demon Planet
ID: ST-HU05E7LVJ
Starfleet, Any Level
Starting Location: Pico system, Sirius sector block
Duration:~20-30 mins
Style: Adventure, Single player

Limited time offer:
If you find the perfect ending, I will send you whatever I get in my next STF run (Elite). Except for Bound on pickup items of course.

A space combat exercise in the Castor system near the Pico system turns into a hunt of a different kind.

The interaction spots are NOT marked, you need to solve the clues.

If the mission is familiar, it is not a coincidence. It is a homage or remaster of my all time favourite classic ST adventure games. I added changes here and there but kept the main plot intact.

http://www.sto-advanced.com/dw1.jpg

http://www.sto-advanced.com/dw2.jpg

http://www.sto-advanced.com/dw3.jpg

Archived Post 02-16-2012 08:24 PM

Enhanced the end part a little. Upgraded the interiors and added a complete debriefing scene.

Archived Post 02-17-2012 02:52 PM

Imporved over the original design a bit:

Demon Planet Adventure Edition
ID: ST-HEGHOJ8WQ
Starfleet, Any Level
Starting Location: Pico system, Sirius sector block
Duration: ? mins
Style: Hardcore Adventure, Single player

A space combat exercise in the Castor system near the Pico system turns into a hunt of a different kind.
It is up to you to solve the mystery before it is too late!

I made the whole mission 100% trigger driven. This means branching freedom and optionals all over. The plot execution order is also up to you. The debriefing reflects every action you took. If you mess up the mission, the admiral will not be too happy at the end.
Added an inventory for the mission specific items, too.

I haven't tested all the possible branches (there are many) so you may find errors here end there. Let me know them so I can fix them.

I don't think I can remaster the classic mission any better.

Archived Post 02-20-2012 10:32 AM

Mission Critique Report - Demon Planet Adventure Edition
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pendra80 (Post 4031707)
I'd like to ask you to review one or both of my old-new missions:

Demon Planet Adventure Edition
ID: ST-HEGHOJ8WQ
Starfleet, Any Level
Starting Location: Pico system, Sirius sector block
Duration: ? mins
Style: Hardcore Adventure, Single player

A space combat exercise in the Castor system near the Pico system turns into a hunt of a different kind.
It is up to you to solve the mystery before it is too late!

The first one is fully trigger driven branched mission with multiple outcomes,

Thanks in advance!

Federation Mission - Demon Planet Adventure Edition
Author: Pendra80
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HEGHOJ8WQ

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is an interesting mission. The use of objects to complete mission tasks is very well done. The colony buildings and cave design are good and are great usage of map space. I gave it 4 stars because of the story, use of the objects, usage of map space, the colony building and cave design. The "Debrief" portion needs to be fixed. The "Debrief" doesnít seem to take into account that after the "Cave" there is no other choice but to "Debrief". Obviously due to the linear nature of the story in the Foundry you can only have the one outcome with the Admirals debriefing.

On the "Castor III" map the location of the "Beam up" trigger that makes the "Debrief" appears should be moved. If you trigger it when standing on top of the rocks you get stuck in the roof and canít move. If you leave the map after the "Debrief" trigger and come back you cannot renter the "Debrief" area. I had to drop the mission and retake it to complete it. The second time I stood slightly to the side of the top and was just low enough I didnít get stuck. The rock remains in the middle of the passageway of what I assume is supposed to be the players ship.

I mention "hard returns" below. This is aimed at sentences you appear to have moved to a different line but did not add a blank line in between. I mention this because it appeared to be a random occurrence. There are some dialog panels where there are blank lines separating sentences and others where there are not. It isnít a show stopper but it struck me as odd and I thought Iíd point it out.

The use of the response button "Continue" is quite prevalent in your "Castor III" map. There is some dialog where this will work and more that it doesnít seem to fit, particularly when the "Player" is receiving reports from their BOFFís. It can be difficult finding the appropriate response to go in there but to me it helps make the player feel like they are part of the story rather than just reading dialog.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the "Authors" notes to [OOC] text so they stand out from the general description.

Grant Mission Dialog: This is a good dialog but not very intriguing. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog. I noted one item to consider changing:
- Consider adding another hard return between the [MissionInfo] and "You will join" sentences so they are apart.

Mission Task: This is a good use of the task as you provide the starting system for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding the sector block of the system.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding another hard return between separated sentences.

MAPS:
High orbit over Castor III: This is a good map design. The battle is nicely done. The story dialog is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Admiral Trent's message; consider changing "The [ShipName] is ordered to orbit the Castor III" to read "The [ShipName] is ordered to orbit Castor III".
-Consider adding another hard return between separated sentences.

Castor III: This is a good map design and your use of objects for mission tasks is very well done. The story dialog is good. Without giving too much away the colony buildings and cave design are very nicely done. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-I'm confused by the initial dialog "Over our usual equipment we collected the following items". It doesn't seem to do anything for the story.
-The use of the response button "Continue". For example the assisting Brother Chen request. Consider changing "Continue" to read "Weíll see what we can do" or something along those lines.
-Consider adding another hard return between separated sentences.
-The post "Brother Chen" scan dialog; the Science BOFF refers to me by my [ShortName] which seems unlikely. Consider changing this to [Rank] or Captain.
-The post "Collect Berries" scan dialog; the Science BOFF refers to me by my [ShortName] which seems unlikely. Consider changing this to [Rank] or Captain. I suspect this is going to occur more often so I will no longer note it but cover it in the summary.
-The post "Apply Trytoxine" dialog; consider changing "Without warning...," to read "Without warning..."
-The dialog; "You thread close to unholy knowledge, brother Steven" did you mean "tread"?
-The post Reman encounter; I noted that the Bridge Science BOFF became my Away Team Science BOFF in the second dialog panel.
-The dialog; "It was a near thing, but he will live" doesn't make any sense. Consider changing it to "It was a close call, but he will live".
-BIG SHOW STOPPER: If the player is on top of the rock when they initiate the beam up they get stuck in the roof of the "Debrief" location.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. Again, good work with the usage of map space. After you adjust the "Debriefing" design it will be a great mission.
Brian

This critique report also filed 02/20/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.

Archived Post 02-20-2012 04:45 PM

Thank you very much for the feedback!

Fixed up a few things based on that:

- Replaced the "Continue" with "..."

- The rock on the beam out point was supposed to be a block. I took it out completely, let the player end the mission badly if he likes. While there, did you get the perfect outcome? If I count correctly, there are ~34 different debriefing outcomes including 2 perfect ones. I think there is one goal which is not really evident.

- Fixed the ground/space BOFF mixup.

- Extra empty lines inserted here and there.

- OOC added to the description

- The "Nickname" was changed to "Captain". The original used nicknames at those points, but I figured that it is kinda out of place.

- Actually the "It was a near thing, but he will live" is one of the few lines I didn't alter at all from the original text. I changed it now.

- Changed the manifest thing to spell out that it is the mission specific inventory and added a hint how to use it. This way you can keep track of the stuff you "collected". At first it was empty, of course, but as you pick up or use up things, the manifest changes.

- The cave scene implied that you are done. However, that is not the case. You may do the various optionals afterward, too, if you wish. Changed the text a little bit to reflect that.

Archived Post 02-20-2012 04:55 PM

The Mission Critique Report - Demon Planet Adventure Edition
 
Follow on post:

Okay,

So I went back into the mission to make sure I didn't miss anything the first run through. I noted that you fixed all the map issues and the use of "Continue" that I noted with the Castor III map earlier. Then I played it two more times. The first time I completed all the steps then went to beam out. The ending was much different. All praises from the Admiral. So to ensure that I hadn't missed something or you'd fixed it I played it a second time and went straight to the beam out. There I got the negative feedback from the Admiral. So I have to say that Pendra80 has apparently achieved alternate endings with a linear storyline.

Not just branching mission tasks... :cool:
Great job!

This critique report also filed 02/20/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.

Archived Post 02-20-2012 05:10 PM

Mission Critique Report - Demon Planet
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pendra80 (Post 4031707)
I'd like to ask you to review one or both of my old-new missions:

Demon Planet
ID: ST-HJYZRCEIQ
Starfleet, Any Level
Starting Location: Pico system, Sirius sector block
Duration:~20-30 mins
Style: Adventure, Single player

A space combat exercise in the Castor system near the Pico system turns into a hunt of a different kind.
It is up to you to solve the mystery before it is too late!

The second is a story driven linear mission.

Thanks in advance!

Federation Mission - Demon Planet
Author: Pendra80
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HJYZRCEIQ

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission with outstanding map design, which includes excellent use of map space for the colony, cave and the ship all on the same map. The battles were just enough to be fun and not overwhelming. The story dialog is very well written. I would highly recommend this mission to anyone who like a great story combined with outstanding maps and a few battles for good measure.

I mention "hard returns" below. This is aimed at sentences you appear to have moved to a different line but did not add a blank line in between. I mention this because it appeared to be a random occurrence. There are some dialog panels where there are blank lines separating sentences and others where there are not. It isnít a show stopper but it struck me as odd and I thought Iíd point it out.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the "Authors" notes to [OOC] text so they stand out from the general description.

Grant Mission Dialog: This is a good dialog but not very intriguing. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
- Consider adding another hard return between the [MissionInfo] and "You will join" sentences so they are apart.
-The notes state that "there are no tool tips and you have to read carefully". However on the "Castor III" map you can see mission tasks and locations as well as the interact NPCís.

Mission Task: This is a good use of the task as you provide the starting system for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding the sector block of the system.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
High orbit over Castor III: This is a good map design. The battle is nicely done. The story dialog is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Admiral Trent's message; consider changing "The [ShipName] is ordered to orbit the Castor III" to read "The [ShipName] is ordered to orbit Castor III".
-Consider adding another hard return between separated sentences.

Castor III: This is a good map design and your design work for the buildings and cave is outstanding. The story dialog is good. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding another hard return between separated sentences.
-The post "Brother Chen" scan dialog; the Science BOFF refers to me by my [NickName] which seems unlikely. Consider changing this to [Rank] or Captain.
-The post "Collect Berries" scan dialog; the Science BOFF refers to me by my [NickName] which seems unlikely. Consider changing this to [Rank] or Captain. This will no longer be noted as it has been addressed in the previous mission review.
-Consider changing "just next to this huge builder" to read "just next to this huge bolder".
-The post "Apply Trytoxine" dialog; consider changing "Without warning...," to read "Without warning..."
-The dialog; "You thread close to unholy knowledge, brother Steven" did you mean "tread"?
-The dialog; "It was a near thing, but he will live" doesn't make any sense. Consider changing it to "It was a close call, but he will live".
-Consider changing "machine to keep intrudes away" to read "machine to keep intruders away".
-Consider moving the beam out to a flatter location where it is easier to get all the BOFFís in the area to "Beam up".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission. Iím guessing it was an earlier version of the first one I reviewed this morning.
Brian

This critique report also filed 02/20/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.

Archived Post 02-23-2012 09:53 AM

I loaded the Adventure Edition of this mission earlier today. As soon as I got to the planet and talked to the first NPC I immediately beamed out of the map... and headed straight for ESD so I could switch to TOS uniforms for me and my away team. I have fond memories of the original game, and this mission was a good adaptation. I would be very interested to see how you might adapt the rest of the missions from the TOS game to STO. :D

Archived Post 02-26-2012 04:24 AM

Wow, brought back some memories. Awesome job. Interesting that you changed the Klingons to Remans?

Yeah I'd like to see others recreated too. I remember 'Hijacked' quite well with those Elasi Pirates!

Archived Post 02-27-2012 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stylsy (Post 4050967)
Wow, brought back some memories. Awesome job. Interesting that you changed the Klingons to Remans?

Yeah I'd like to see others recreated too. I remember 'Hijacked' quite well with those Elasi Pirates!

293391-197736-3829

I still remember the Masada's prefix code from that mission by heart, almost - ye gods - 20 years later.

And I never did get all the way through Love's Labor Jeopardized without cracking a can of laughing gas and the Vulcan equivalent for my away team. :D


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