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-   -   Argus Array Repair Daily - Quick Foundry Daily Mission (http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=265810)

Archived Post 04-11-2012 10:23 AM

Argus Array Repair Daily - Quick Foundry Daily Mission
 
Greetings,

I am pleased to offer players a quick, easy mission to assist in the “Officer Reports Daily” mission available to us for the daily 1440 dilithium reward. It is not a “Click to Win” mission. It has substance and visuals based on the Argus Array design from my Spawn of Medusa Foundry series. It can be completed quickly in 8-10 minutes or less and if desired, it can be run 3 times extrememly fast once you run through it the first time. It can also be done as a team. I was able to complete it 3 times with a friend in about 12 minutes. It’s a fun, easy mission without combat that looks at another side of the Star Trek experience and also has the benefit of the Officer Report Daily rewards. I hope you give it a try.
:)


Title: Argus Array Repair Daily
By: Duke-of-Rock
Allegiance: Federation
Language: English
Level: Any Level
Starting Location: Wall Console outside Main Transporter Room on Earth Space Dock

Argus Array Repair Daily: “Warp instantly from Earth Space Dock to the rebuilt Argus Array to commence repairs that occurred during the campaign to rid the galaxy of the Medusik threat. Sadly, before their defeat, the evil Medusas were able to sabotage this marvel of Federation technology. Enter the system and activate the prototype drones to assist with the exterior repairs while you beam aboard the array and repair the damage inflicted by the enemy.”

Visit the link below for sneak preview.


http://starbaseugc.com/index.php/tra...undry-mission/

Thanks,


Duke-of-Rock

Archived Post 04-11-2012 03:27 PM

I enjoyed this Foundry mission. Like your other missions, you put some effort in the story and dialogue.

Some observations:

- I love the Argus Array. (It's HUGE!) You used the only available Foundry objects which could make a decent array, akin to the TNG version of the Argus Array (from "The Nth Degree" and "Parallels"). And you did a great job.

- I esp. loved the lighting. Bright, emerald-hued, cosmic brillance... but without a light source! I'd recommend going back into the Foundry tool and adding a star (or two) into the map.

- There were some text oddities throughout, ranging from the mission intro text (which had some bad line breaks/word wrapping), to some punctuation gaffs.

- Suggestion: Amend this text:

"Sir, I have the drones on sensors. We can activate them by approaching and activating the Activation Beacons near their locations."

to

"Sir, I have the drones on sensors. We need to approach each of the five Activation Beacons and transmit the work assignments to each."


- I would park the "Repair Drones" (Runabouts) NEXT to the Activation Beacons, not far away from each one. And I would suggest scrapping the Runabouts by going into the Costume Editor (within the Foundry tool) and create a Workbee NPC instead.


- Change this dialogue prompt:

Activate Prototype Repair Drones

to: Activate Prototype Repair Drone Group Alpha-01

(then change the other four prompts so they have UNIQUE names, like Activate Prototype Repair Drone Group Alpha-02, etc. -- whatever you choose to name them) There should be a minimum of two drones at each beacon. (You have only one drone near one of the beacons.)


- When I beamed aboard the Argus Array maintenance area, I would expect heavy smoke if that fire had been burning for a long time. (Where's automated fire suppression when you need it? lol) Add some smoke! Add some sparks coming out of the wall consoles near the fire! :)

- Choose between "sir" and "Sir" across the entire dialogue. Too inconsistent.

- When using "Sir" or "[Rank]" make sure you punctuate like this:

"That did it, Sir. The Halon system is now operational."
"[Rank], we should proceed further."
"It worked, Sir. The coolant is now at the proper temperature. The flow is steady through the station core."
"It appears to be working, Sir. The fires are being extinguished."
"May I add, [Rank], that it is a pleasure to serve with you."
"How are the repairs going in the core, Sir?"
"Excellent news, [Rank]."
etc.


- In the Mission objectives box (within the UI):

"Scan the maintenance core." <-- remove the period.
"Activate the Halon System and forcefield." <-- remove the period.
"Deactivate the Halon system and drop the forcefiel." <-- remove the period; change "Halon system" to "Halon System"; and change "forcefiel" to "forcefield" (or "force field" -- and make sure you use the same spelling across the entire mission dialogue)
"Scan the damaged coolant piping." <-- remove the period.
etc.

Same with many of the dialogue prompts where it's an action, not actual dialogue, like "Open the coolant valve to restore the flow." Or be consistent by using periods with all actions, all mission objective text.


- In the prompt BEFORE you get to the "Scan the damaged coolant piping" action, add green text to the dialogue box, indicating the player should look up to locate the coolant piping leak.

- I really liked your consistent use of machinery types, e.g. magnetic interlock systems.

- I'd love to see more piping/machinery in this room. Too spartan for me, but that's my taste. :)

- Dialogue suggestion: Change:

"It worked sir. The array is whole once again. We also were able to reach Starfleet and the ship carrying the structural repair engineers has arrived."

to:

"It worked, Sir! The array is whole once again.

We were able to reach Starfleet Command. They've dispatched the U.S.S. Quasar from the Starfleet Corps of Engineers with structural repair experts. They just warped into the sector."


(Change the following dialogue box to remove the mention of the ship just entering the system/sector.)


- Change:

"This is Captain Mok. the Argus Array appears to be whole once agan [Rank].

It seems you have done your job well. Is the Maintenance Core ready to receive our structural Repair teams?"


to: "This is Captain Mok. The Argus Array appears to be operational again.

[Rank], it seems you have done your job well. Is the Maintenance Core ready to receive our structural repair teams?"

- I like how the array is fixed at the end. :)


My two bars of latinum for now,
Tucana

Archived Post 04-11-2012 03:50 PM

Ooooh Cool.

I love the Argus Array and always hoped it would make it into STO.

Will definitely try this tonight :)

Archived Post 04-16-2012 10:39 PM

Hey Duke,

Wanted to let you know that I played through your mission and liked it! I also recorded my playthrough. Check it out below:

http://youtu.be/5dEZOcbh3Bk

Thanks for making it!

Archived Post 04-21-2012 03:25 PM

Mission Critique Report - Argus Array Repair Daily
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke-of-Rock (Post 4158928)
Hi Brian,

Just a quick note for you to check out my new daily mission when you get a chance. I't's a short and sweet little mish thats great for the daily dilithium. Thought it would be cool to get your review take on it.

Title: Argus Array Repair Daily
By: Duke-of-Rock
Allegiance: Federation
Language: English
Level: Any Level
Starting Location: Wall Console outside Main Transporter Room on Earth Space Dock


Thanks again for all you do for the Foundry Community.

Craig aka: Duke-of-Rock

Federation Mission - Argus Array Repair Daily
Author: Duke-of-Rock
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID:

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission. The map design is outstanding and the interaction well done. The story dialogue is very well written. It was a very enjoyable 15 minutes without anyone shooting at me. I also liked the ability to go back and repair the damage from the “Spawn of Medusa” series. I actually felt bad when the array got damaged. :) I would highly recommend this mission to any player who likes a good short story with well designed maps, good story dialogue, interactive tasks and no one shooting at you for the 15 minutes or less this mission takes. ;)

Below are two items I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: Consider adding the start location for the first custom map.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good, detailed prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Damaged Argus Array: This is a good map design with some nice interactive functions for the player. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Argus Array Maintenance Core: This is a good map design. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Argus Array: This is a good map design and a nice wrap up to the mission. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The post "scan the array" dialogue; consider changing "and I my scan tell me" to read "and my scan tells me".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission.
Brian

This critique report also filed 04/21/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.


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