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marcusdkane 09-19-2012 06:36 PM

Character Feedback Request...
 
I would like to solicit feedback on a character I have evolved over the past fifteen years, who I plan to feature in a manuscript I am working on (not specifically Trek novel) and wanted to get opinions as to if this is a well-rounded character, so have written the following like a Starfleet personnel file. I used their name as a userID as an easy option, not as an identification as said character :D While I have used existing organizations and characters in this writing, I wish to assert my right as author over unique character names and alien races. Thanks in advance :)


Biography
Rank: Admiral
Serial number: SC 231-418
Current assignment: Head of Starfleet Intelligence
Full Name: Marcus Darien Kane
Date of birth: May 21, 2335
Place of birth: Caladan
Parents: Paul and Rebecca Kane
Education: Starfleet Academy, 2353-57, graduated valedictorian

Personality Profile
At times, Kane can appear less than serious. While appreciating and respecting Starfleet traditions and codes of conduct, he is not a stickler for protocol, often addressing crew-members by first name, and treating them as personal friends, rather than subordinates. This outwardly relaxed exterior masks a truly brilliant and analytical mind, which is highly admired in the upper echelons of Starfleet Command.

Physical Appearance
Kane is best described by the old romance novel cliche of 'tall, dark and handsome', standing six feet, three inches tall, with dark brown hair and slate grey eyes. As an immortal, Kane does not age, and as such, still retains the youthful appearance of a Human in his late twenties, despite his chronological age being nearly twice that.

Strengths and Weaknesses
Kane's greatest strength is his ability to bond with others, and develop an immediate rapport, even with complete strangers. This magnetic personality conceals a lonely soul tormented by the loss of all his immediate family members, each in equally unpleasant circumstances. Kane's only true flaw, is his temper, and while it is normally rigidly controlled, once angered, he has a wrath which is terrible to behold. Quick to adapt, he is able to organize strategies at a moments notice.

Ambitions
For all his achievements and skills, Kane is a surprisingly un-ambitious individual. He once remarked to his friend Will Riker, that he [Riker] wanted the career, where the career wanted him [Kane], and that life seemed to happen to him, that he was merely "a passenger" and observer of events. He seeks only to live a life of dignity and honor, rather than chasing glory and prestige.

Hobbies and Interests
Kane is an incredibly gifted practical and theoretical engineer, who enjoys designing and modifying projects. While his academic focus was primarily around engineering, he is also an exceptional pilot. In addition to Federation standard, Kane can read, write and speak Vulcan as fluently as any native-born Vulcan. Although not quite native-fluent, he speaks and reads Bajoran and Cardassian well enough to not require translation. He can speak Pentaxian fluently, to the same extent as his knowledge of Vulcan. As a child, his mother insisted that he learn to play the piano, and he later mastered the Vulcan harp.

Childhood (2335-2353)
Marcus Kane was born on the Federation planet Caladan, in 2335. While pregnant with twins, Rebecca Kane was accidentally exposed to thalaron radiation on Adigeon Prime, which caused genetic damage to the Y Chromosome of one of the embryos. Highly skilled genetic manipulators, local physicians were able to perform in-vitro genetic re-sequencing, modifying the damaged Y Chromosome into a copy of the undamaged X Chromosome, so the embryo could still develop, albeit as a gender-different but otherwise identical twin. As a child, Marcus spent much time hover-boarding with his friends, but especially enjoyed camping with his sister, Alix, to whom he was incredibly close. They could spend hours silently in each other's company, able to communicate solely through facial expression and body language. As children, Marcus and Alix were only told that their father, Paul, was an engineer, and often did important work for Starfleet, which they were not to question him about. This did not stop Marcus spending a lot of time with his father, watching him working, and this was the basis for his own development as an engineer. When Marcus was ten, Paul was required to relocate to the planet Vulcan due to the nature of his work. A week before the family was due to relocate to Vulcan, Rebecca was killed in a sailing accident. Her body was washed out to sea, only to be recovered partially devoured by Caladan's rich oceanic life-forms. Deeply traumatized by the loss of his mother, Marcus fell into a destructive pattern of behavior, and once settled on Vulcan, Paul arranged for his son to study under a Vulcan Master, in the hope that his emotional turmoil could be properly addressed. Under Sovak's tutelage, Marcus studied the Vulcan traditions and methods for emotional control, eventually regaining his emotional equilibrium, while at the same time, developing an almost Vulcan-level of reserve and discipline. He also studied the Vulcan fighting arts, refusing to take injections of tri-ox, so his body would have to adapt to Vulcan's harsh desert climate, so different to the perpetually rain-soaked world he had grown up on. Although he never adapted to the same extent as a native-born Vulcan, Marcus did eventually develop increased levels of lung capacity, strength and stamina at the very peak of Human capabilities, like those of an Olympic-conditioned athlete. He eventually earned the respect of the Vulcan boys in his classes, and after frequent debates, Selek, became his best friend. During this time, Marcus became enamoured with the priestess-initiate T'Reya, and he would frequently assist her with her duties both at the Folu monastery and in ShiKahr. At seventeen, in what could either be considered a rare instance of rebellion, or deep appreciation for his adopted home, Marcus replicated a dermal pigmentation device, and permanently tattooed a Vulcan mantra down the outer edge of his right forearm. While Paul was initially furious, Alix teased him that it was 'very sexy', and Sovak merely noted that the script was perfectly executed, and that Marcus had been an exceptional pupil.

Starfleet Academy (2353-2357)
During his time at the Academy, Kane was close friends with Paul Rice, Will Riker, Roger Hunt, and Talas sh'Thirikar, an Andorian shen. He studied under Admirals Mark Jameson, Matthew Dougherty, Owen Paris and civilian lecturer Magnus Hansen. During his time at the Academy, while Kane's academic focus was on engineering, it was discovered that he had a natural aptitude for piloting, and he became a member of the Lambda Squadron flight team. He was a keen student under Magnus Hansen's tutelage, assisting him with his research into a classified cybernetic race, and he became a frequent visitor to the Hansen household. Some cadets, jealous of Kane's affinity to Hansen, suggested that he had an inappropriate friendship with Hansen's wife, Erin, but this was purely a vicious rumor which Hansen never considered worthy of his attention, and Kane gave Hansen's daughter, Annika, a soft toy for her fifth birthday. During his sophomore year, following the Hansen's departure on the USS Raven, Kane learned that his father had died, and unsatisfied with the formal enquiry, he went AWOL to make his own investigations. Learning that his father had been murdered, he sought revenge against his father's murderer, an Orion Syndicate weapons merchant. These actions brought him into direct contact with Admiral Wesley Cooper, the head of Starfleet Intelligence, and someone he remembered visiting his father, often late at night, both on Caladan and Vulcan. Cooper revealed that he and Kane's father had long been friends, and that Paul had in fact been one of Starfleet's leading weapons designers. Recognizing Kane's potential, and in honor of his friend's memory, Cooper offered to use his influence to state that Kane had not in fact gone AWOL, but had been working on assignment for him, on the caveat that while Kane would be expected to continue at the Academy and graduate like any other cadet, he would additionally work with Starfleet Intelligence whenever required, including continuing his father's classified work as a weapons designer. During his final year at Starfleet Academy, Kane was involved in a reconnaissance mission to monitor a refugee camp in the Bajoran system. When the starship entered the system, it came under attack by Cardassian forces. The captain gave the order to abandon ship, and already burned by a ruptured plasma conduit, Kane managed to get to an escape pod and launch, only to realize the Cardassians were picking off the escape pods one by one as they launched from the ship. His escape pod damaged, and the starship destroyed, Kane crash-landed, breaking his right leg in three places. He was found in the middle of a desert by a party of Bajoran refugees who had seen the pod come down, severely dehydrated, delirious from pain, with his leg splinted from parts salvaged from the escape pod. Taken back to the camp, he was cared for by a Bajoran girl in her late teens, Ro Shanna, whose initial nursing soon developed into a close friendship. While it was possible to treat his burns, his broken bones were beyond the limited medical equipment available, and they had to be set and splinted in the traditional method. When Kane was evacuated by Federation troops, although Shanna was old enough to enter the Academy, she refused to leave her family under the brutality of the Cardassians, simply to improve her own life, and she and Kane promised to keep in contact via subspace communications.

USS Pegasus (2357)
Upon graduation from Starfleet Academy, Kane and Riker were both assigned to the USS Pegasus, under Captain Eric Pressman. Six months after arriving on board, Kane completed his PhD in applied engineering, and was promoted to Lieutenant. This was the beginning of the end of his friendship with Riker, who felt the promotion was unfairly earned, as it was down to academic achievement, rather than service history. Soon after this promotion, due to his familiarity with the work of Erin and Magnus Hansen, Kane was tasked with the design and development of a phasing cloaking device as part of Starfleet's plans to develop defensive systems against the classified cybernetic race, at the request of Admiral Cooper and Captain Pressman. Keen to live up to the reputation of his lecturer, and the expectations of his mentor, Kane was able to develop a working unit, but an undetectable flaw in the manufacture of the device meant it failed catastrophically under testing with terrible consequences. One of only a handful of officers to escape the Pegasus alive, Kane's direct involvement in the cloaking project was the breaking point of his friendship with Riker, with Riker refusing to have anything further to do with him, for what he thought to be illegal and entirely self-aggrandizing behavior. He could not have known at the time that Kane's work was not only entirely sanctioned, but was with the defense of the Federation as its impetus. Rather than divulge the classified aspects of the mission, Kane allowed Riker to keep that belief, even though it cost their friendship. Following the Pegasus incident, Admiral Dougherty put Kane through a court martial, for which he was officially discharged for breach of the treaty of Algeron, and conduct unbecoming an officer, before making comment at his disappointment to see one of his former pupils behaving thus.

Starfleet Intelligence (2357)
In reality, the court martial and Dougherty's comments were only a ruse to allow Kane to disappear and be forgotten by, the majority of most career Starfleet officers, so he could be brought fully into Starfleet Intelligence. While some friends refused to believe Kane capable of such illegal acts, others, were happy to believe the lie they were told, making Kane's disappearance from Starfleet all the more plausible. Knowing of Kane's continued friendship with Ro Shanna, Cooper assigned him to monitor the Bajoran system under the guise of a former officer with nowhere else to turn. Before he left for Bajoran space, Cooper gave Kane an antique taj'tiq, a particularly long knife of Klingon manufacture, which could be wielded as if it were a sword, with the somewhat cryptic advice "Don't lose your head..." Arriving at the camp, he was able to renew his friendship with Shanna, one of the few people to know the truth about his assignment. Having been away only ten months, the Bajorans welcomed him back into their community without hesitation, and over the next five years, he conducted many missions for Starfleet Intelligence, often working closely with the Bajoran Resistance, although never formally a part of that organization. After two years spent in Bajoran space, tragedy once more found Kane. When Shanna saw three Cardassian soldiers attempting to r@pe a Bajoran child, she immediately attacked them, but was overpowered and severely beaten until she was barely conscious. The Cardassians planned to r*pe her instead, but Kane intervened, stabbing one Cardassian fatally through the spine with his taj'tiq, before nearly decapitating a second, and wounding the third. The surviving Cardassian fled the scene, and although the child escaped, Shanna died from her injuries. Devastated by Shanna's death, Kane refused to leave the refugee camp, knowing that he had unfinished business with the Cardassians. Although he tried not to judge all Cardassians by the same standards, the brutality he witnessed during the occupation considerably altered how Kane viewed the Cardassian mindset. Following a particularly dangerous infiltration mission to Terok Nor, Kane was promoted in the field to the rank of Lieutenant Commander, at the strong suggestion of the Bajoran Militia to Admiral Cooper. Via subspace communication with his mentor, Kane was told that when he was recalled to the Federation and returned to active duty, he would be in the command division, rather than services, due to the leadership experiences he had gained during his intelligence work.

Immortal Reawakening (2363)
In the October of 2362, as well as being promoted to Commander, Kane was sequestered to the design and construction of the new warp-capable Xander-Class starfighter. It was during a test flight, in January of 2363, that the fighter suffered a warp core failure. Kane used the emergency transporter to escape the destruction of the fighter, but was then hit by a piece of shrapnel from the fuselage, rupturing his pressurized flight suit, and he suffocated in minutes. However, once his body was brought into the medical bay on Titan, he re-animated, as additional chromosomal base pairs and a redundant synaptic system, activated by the initial shutdown of his biological processes, restarted those same processes in an enhanced capacity. He was later informed by base physicians that he was now immortal, would never age further, and could only be permanently killed by decapitation. At this time, Cooper revealed that he was himself an immortal Human, and had been a friend to Kane's family since the mid 21st Century. When Kane asked why he had never been told before, Cooper explained that it had become policy after the proper identification of the Lazarus gene, that no-one found to be carrying it would be informed of it, incase the gene did not activate upon death. This reasoning became clear to Kane, soon after. In his apartment in San Francisco, following dinner and a night out with his sister, he told Alix what had happened to him. Alix made the assumption that as a genetically identical twin, she would also carry the Lazarus gene and thus re-animate as an immortal, and before Kane could stop her, with the words "See you in a minute," and a smile, she shot herself point blank in the head with a phaser. Tragically, the genetic re-sequencing which replaced her original damaged Y chromosome, was enough to disturb the barely understood gene, and she simply died in her brother's arms. Following Alix's death, Kane was court-martialed for conduct unbecoming an officer. With only circumstantial evidence, and the behaviour catagorised as non-recurring, no further action was taken, and the reasons for the court-martial sealed.

USS Akira (2363-2370)
Travelling to Vulcan, Kane returned to the Folu monastery to seek solace within its walls. There, he found T'Reya suffering the biochemical imbalance of the pon farr. Unable to control herself, T'Reya forced herself upon Kane. Even had he been physically able to fight her off, he would not have been emotionally inclined to do so, having harboured a deep av edgy on for the Vulcan woman since his teens. No further courtship or relationship took place, and was acknowledged by both as one friend providing an act of kindness for another. Admiral Dougherty offered Kane the opportunity to be the commanding officer for the USS Akira on its shakedown cruise, which he accepted, re-uniting him with his Academy room-mate, Lieutenant Roger Hunt. Having been tutored by Admiral Cooper, Kane now immediately sensed Hunt's presence as a pre-immortal, but still reeling from the death of his beloved sister, and at Cooper's order, he never told Hunt about the possibility that he too could re-animate. Following the successful shakedown cruise of the Akira, during which the ship rescued the crew of a merchant transport from Nausican raiders, Kane was promoted to Captain. His first official action, was to promote his friend to the rank of Lieutenant Commander, following his own actions against the Nausicans. The festivities Hunt arranged to celebrate Kane's promotion to Captain were overshadowed by the revelation that T'Reya had become engaged to Scolak.

Starfleet Intelligence (2366)
Following the destruction of the Borg cube in Earth orbit, as one of Starfleet's key experts on the Borg, Kane was temporarily assigned to analyze not only the remains of the cube, but also the Borg hardware removed from Captain Jean-Luc Picard by Doctor Beverly Crusher. Initially intending to work aboard the Enterprise-D while it underwent repairs, a certain degree of hostility and resentment from Commander Riker (for Kane not only having been 're-instated' into Starfleet, but also being made the Captain of a starship) lead to Kane relocating his studies to secure labs at Starfleet Command. During his analysis, Kane confirmed technology kept in secure storage since 2153 as Borg hardware. One of the experiments conducted, included injecting himself with Borg nanoprobes so their effect on the Human body could be monitored. Due to the accelerated rate of his metabolism, the nanoprobes were initially unable to begin the assimilation process, but they eventually adapted to the immortal repair process and accelerated their multiplication to compensate, eventually suppressing the repair process enough to prevent it rejecting the replicating implants, and over-riding Kane's free will. Consumed by the directive to establish contact with the Collective, the Kane-drone broke free of its restraints, and began to run amok at Starfleet Command, killing several officers, before being neutralized by Starfleet Security. At this point, Doctor Crusher was able to use omicron radiation to disable the nanoprobes, and Kane's body then broke down and rejected all the Borg technology, completely eradicating it from his system. The information gained during these experiments was crucial in understanding more about the Borg, even though it did not lead to any better methods in counteracting the threat posed by them.

-While admittedly only a matter of speculation and rumor, it must be noted that during this time, Kane and Crusher developed an excellent working relationship, and the doctor was seen accompanying the Captain to dinner on several evenings in San Francisco-

Project Defiant (2367)
When Captain Jean-Luc Picard was debriefed on the Enterprise-D's forced contact with the Borg in 2365, Starfleet Command recognized they were the as yet unidentified, but highly classified cybernetic race which had been the obsession of Magnus Hansen more than a decade before, and realized that the projects abandoned following the Pegasus incident needed to be re-activated and further developed. In 2367, due to his familiarity with Hansen's work, Kane was selected to begin designing the weapon systems for the first in a new line of Starfleet warships, and he was posted to the Utopia Planitia shipyards, with his first officer, Commander Jac Cheliss, temporarily given command of the Akira. Officially designated as an escort vessel, the Defiant needed to pack more of a punch than anything Starfleet vessels currently had on offer. Inspired by his own immortal biology, Kane developed regenerative shielding, as well as a revolutionary way of channeling power from the warp core directly to the phaser arrays. He also found old, unfinished design plans of his father's for 'quantum' torpedoes, and brought all these proposals to the design committee. Kane quickly became friends with Lieutenant Commander Benjamin Sisko and Lieutenant Commander Elizabeth Shelby, deferring to their personal combat experiences with the Borg, over his own purely theoretical and lab-based studies, even though he outranked them both. It must be noted that it is this tendency to treat subordinate officers as personal friends, which makes Kane such a gifted leader. As it was considered that the Borg threat had been resolved, and when the shakedown cruise of the Defiant revealed issues with the propulsion system (the over-powered ship nearly tore itself to pieces during flight) the project was mothballed, and Kane resumed command of the Akira. In 2367, Kane was deeply saddened when T'Reya severed their friendship, and correctly intuited that her abusive and jealous husband, Scolak was the reason. It was not until 2370, aboard the Akira, that Kane was contacted by Riker via subspace communications. Riker had been contacted by Admiral Pressman about the Pegasus incident. As a result of Pressman's actions, Riker finally learned the full truth behind Kane's actions, and realized how his public reputation had been sacrificed to not only protect Pressman's, but to allow him to carry out his missions for Starfleet Intelligence in Bajoran space. Shamed by his utter miss-judgment of the situation, Riker apologized sincerely for not having believed in Kane, and they were able to renew their friendship after a decade of estrangement. Later that year, Kane was offered the chance to assume command of the USS Endeavour, one of the new Sovereign-Class starships. He accepted, on the condition that he could transfer his senior staff with him as well. When the Borg cube attacked the Earth in that year, the Endeavour was one of the ships which initially engaged the cube, but a lucky hit from the cube disabled the Endeavour, leaving it adrift, but unable to further participate in the battle. Following the destruction of the cube when the Enterprise-E entered the fight, the Endeavour returned to spacedock for repairs.

USS Endeavour (2370-2390)
It was not long after assuming command of the Endeavour, that Kane encountered a unique adversary. Recently freed from a centuries-long prison sentence, the shape shifting android, Barry O'Shea, and his immortal associate, Ian McKenna, attacked the USS Thunderchild, knowing that the Endeavour would be the closest ship to respond. Upon arrival, Kane and his crew unknowingly transported Barry and McKenna aboard, where they set about disrupting the ships systems. It was discovered that Kane's ancestor, Rick Kane, a Lieutenant with the Los Angeles Police Department, was responsible for the imprisonment of both Barry and McKenna, and utilizing their own forms of immortality, they had simply served their multiple life-sentences, with the goal of taking revenge on the Kane family itself. In order to better scan for Barry, without interference from the crew, Kane ordered the crew to evacuate to the Thunderchild, and then began a deck by deck sweep. While Barry was incapacitated and held in the brig, McKenna took the opportunity to commandeer a shuttlecraft and escape.

In 2374, Kane was seconded to Starfleet Intelligence to undertake a covert mission to the planet Pentaxia, to retrieve stolen Federation technology. Kane was primarily selected for the mission due to Pentaxia's climate being similar to that of the planet Vulcan, where Kane had spent his formative years, so he would not be as affected by the local conditions as another officer might be. Due to the Pentaxian Dynasty's extremely isolationist stance, it was felt that the presence of a starship would be too provocative, so Kane instead traveled to Pentaxia in the USS Equinox, a prototype tactical shuttle, built from transmitted schematics of the Delta-Class shuttle. Due to being interrupted by the planetary militia, Kane was unable to extract the technology back to the Equinox, and was instead forced to destroy it, prior to being arrested, along with K'm'rn, the leader of the squad who had been assigned to arrest him when she turned on her own troops in Kane's defense, having unconsciously imprinted him as her mate. While incarcerated, Kane was extensively tortured, but refused to reveal the purpose of his mission. When the interrogators realized Kane was immortal, their levels of sadism escalated to the point of near-butchery, until their own de-sensitized boredom made them end the interrogation. Barely alive (any other Human would have been long-dead) Kane was returned to the cell which he and K'm'rn shared, where his wounds immediately began to regenerate. Attempting to bathe Kane's injuries, K'm'rn saw the immortal repair process with her own eyes, and realized that Kane was no ordinary Human. Once his injuries healed, Kane used a miniaturized type I phaser in his boot heel to escape the cell. The phaser was one of Kane's own design projects, and was sheathed in evasion polymers, and rather than a sarium krelide power cell, featured an electrodynamic fluid power cell which would only build a charge, when the device was violently agitated, to render it inert and virtually invisible to scanners. Escaping from the cell, Kane was able to beam himself and K'm'rn aboard the Equinox, where they attempted to flee Pentaxian space, before being intercepted by a Pentaxian battle cruiser, carrying the heir Empress Ch'K'rr, a notoriously ill-tempered young lady, who ordered the cruiser to destroy the Equinox. Taking refuge in a gas giant on the edge of the system, Kane played and won, a deadly game of 'chicken', forcing the Equinox to a depth which crippled, and nearly destroyed the battle cruiser, before reversing course, and rescuing the crippled vessel with a tractor-beam, dragging the ship to safety, before then leaving Pentaxian space. Explaining Pentaxian bonding and mating rituals, K'm'rn explained that not only had she imprinted Kane as her mate, but tradition also dictated they were bonded to each other in the Pentaxian equivalent of marriage. Upon returning to the Endeavour, K'm'rn chose to remain in Federation space as Kane's wife, immediately becoming best friends with Jedda Tobin, but due to people being unable to pronounce the complex vowels of her name, she adopted the closest Human equivalent, Cameron.

-Unbeknownst to either Cameron or Kane, Pentaxian geneticists learned of his immortality, and experiments and tests began on the DNA extracted from the samples of his blood which had been 'obtained' during his interrogation, using it to fertilize samples of Cameron's genetic material which were kept on file as standard by the Pentaxian militia, eventually creating the half-breed 'clone' , S'rR's-

In 2375, the Endeavour took part in diplomatic negotiations between the Kollari and Syndoku regimes on the planet Corvus. When the hostilities between the two factions, were resolved, the prime ministers of both factions contacted Starfleet Command with letters of recommendation that Kane be rewarded for his efforts, and he was indeed promoted. Rather than the customary promotion to Rear-Admiral, which would have required a transfer from active duty to a more administrative role at Starfleet Command, Kane was instead given the lesser-used promotion to Fleet Captain: Recognizing his skills and elevating his rank accordingly, but still maintaining his position as an active front line officer.

In 2379, Kane and Cameron attended the Alaskan wedding ceremony of Will Riker and Deanna Troi. Although Kane and Riker had last met aboard the Enterprise-D in 2366, it had been so close to Kane's immortal re-awakening, that they had appeared at the time to still be the same chronological age. Thirteen years had passed since that meeting, and the visible difference in the apparent ages of the two men was now clearly noticeable, with Kane appearing considerably younger than his former class-mate. To alleviate any awkwardness, Jean-Luc Picard recalled how Riker had once told him that he planned to live forever, and Riker joked that Kane had clearly beaten him to it. As a wedding gift, Kane presented the couple with a pair of dorodango, Japanese mud spheres, hand-made from dirt from both Earth and Betazed, and a replicated bottle of Pentaxian liqueur.

In 2383, Kane was ordered to investigate reports of Borg activity along the Romulan Neutral Zone. Assigned to the Endeavour to assist with the investigations, was Kane's childhood friend, Selek, who's expertise in subspace communications was required to try and better understand the long-distance connection of a cube to the Collective. Also assigned, was Annika Hansen, the child of Kane's former mentor, who had spent much of her life assimilated into the collective and known by the Borg designation Seven of Nine. While she was content to provide tactical information on the systems of the Borg cube, Seven was reluctant to beam aboard herself. Unwilling to force the issue, Kane agreed it best that he and Selek undertake the infiltration alone. To reduce the risk to the Endeavour, Kane and Selek used the Equinox to intercept the cube. Beaming aboard the cube using bio-dampeners to hide them from Borg sensors, Kane and Selek began an investigation of the cube. When their bio-dampeners failed, Selek was wounded in a firefight with the drones. Against Selek's logic that he would simply slow Kane and increase the risk of his assimilation, Kane insisted that Selek's wife's expected child would not be born without a father, and he carried his friend on his back to the transport site so they could be automatically extracted back to the Equinox. While Selek recuperated aboard the Endeavour, he received contact from Vulcan that his wife, T'Laya, had given birth to a daughter, whom he said to name T'Marc, in Kane's honor.

In 2387, the Federation Council received a request from Empress Ch'K'rr of the Pentaxian Dynasty for Kane and the Endeavour to act as diplomatic envoy during her coronation ceremony. After over a decade's maturation, Ch'K'rr had grown into a conscientious young woman, who had raised S'rR's as her ward, and wished to make a formal petition to the Council for Pentaxia to be considered for Federation membership. Initially skeptical, Kane agreed to undertake the mission, presenting the Empress with the Equinox as a coronation gift. Unfortunately, members of Ch'K'rr's parliament did not share her view of the future, and made several assassination attempts on her life so she could not deliver the petition. These attempts were unsuccessful, and Kane accepted the petition on behalf of the Council, giving him the legal authority to arrest the parliamentary members behind the assassination attempts, but during the arrest of the First Minister, Cameron was fatally wounded. Overcome with rage, Kane would have murdered the First Minister in retaliation, had a plea from S'rR's not stopped him. At this point, he was introduced to S'rR's for the first time by one of the Empress' guests, a traveler known as the Doctor, who had also been detained by the First Minister to try and prevent the truth of the situation becoming public knowledge . Following Ch'K'rr's coronation, S'rR's chose to leave Pentaxia so she could learn more about the universe, and Kane agreed to her joining him aboard the Endeavour.

In 2390, Admiral Cooper was murdered by Ian McKenna, following a duel in Golden Gate Park. Cooper had left sealed instruction that in the event of his death, he recommended Kane's promotion to assume his position as the head of Starfleet Intelligence. With no better qualified candidates, Starfleet Command agreed to the recommendation, promoting Kane to the rank of Admiral. Before assuming his role on Earth, Kane promoted Jedda Tobin to the rank of Captain, giving her command of the Endeavour. Kane bested McKenna and decapitated him, avenging the murder of his life-long friend and mentor.


In 2393, Kane undertook an assignment to Cardassia Prime to investigate claims of a reformation of the Obsidian Order, after being contacted by Gul Kenett Turan. He was accompanied by S'rR's, who was considered to be the most suitably skilled companion, but upon arrival, Kane and S'rR's were arrested almost immediately, and it was revealed that Gul Turan was in fact the son of a Glin whom Kane had killed on Bajor thirty four years previously during the Cardassian occupation. The fact that Glin Turan had been attempting to r*pe a Bajoran child was of little consequence, or indeed comfort to Gul Turan, who refused to believe his father capable of such acts, and Kane was subsequently found guilty of his murder. While S'rR's could have had no part in the Glin's death, she was instead found guilty of espionage and conspiracy against the Cardassian people. In an attempt to make Kane suffer before being executed, Gul Turan stabbed S'rR's through the spine with Kane's taj'tiq, as Kane had done to his father. When her healing abilities restored her, Turan decided to commute the death sentences to life imprisonment in one of the gulags in Cardassia's northern continent. For two years, Kane protected S'rR's from the brutality of the guards, who made attempting to r*pe her their goal, and he frequently had to fight them to prevent them from succeeding, but one morning, Kane awoke to find S'rR's kissing him. Shocked at her behavior, he demanded an explanation, leaving her with no option but to explain that for the past ten years, she had been emotionally bonded to him, having imprinted on him as a child, and the companionable relationship they had previously built was no more. After being imprisoned for five years, they were released as part of a prisoner exchange, and repatriated to the Federation by Captain Hunt, and the crew of the USS Dauntless. Freed from captivity, they were unable to return to their past roles, and their relationship became public knowledge. Once more court-martialed for conduct unbecoming an officer, Kane was saved from prosecution by testimony from S'rR's that she had been the instigator of the relationship, a fact confirmed by Betazoid and Vulcan investigators, and the board being legally required to honor General Order 34. The backlash from Kane's colleagues and friend's was more severe, with many severing all but the most formal of contact. One of the few people who accepted the relationship, was Amanda Palmer, who had known of S'rR's' feelings for several years.

Immortality Relinquished
By 2409, Kane had grown weary of the emotional burdens of his Immortal existence. S'rR's had matured from the child who many had been considered his daughter, to the woman who became his companion, and she now appeared to be the more senior of the couple. Realizing that their ages would only continue to diverge, Kane sought to resolve the situation. Traveling to Adigeon Prime, he consulted with local physicians about using genetic manipulation to deactivate the Lazarus gene to render him mortal. While the doctors admitted it was theoretically possible, they reminded Kane that any alteration to his body would trigger the immortal repair process, nullifying any changes made, and so any genetic revisions would have to be made instantaneously throughout his entire body to ensure no cell remained unchanged, which could theoretically 're-boot' the immortal repair process. It was decided that Borg nanoprobes were the only method capable of effecting such a controlled, and system-wide genetic manipulation. Enlisting the help of Captain Amanda Palmer, Kane undertook a mission to capture a number of Borg drones, so their nanoprobes could be harvested and re-purposed. Modifying the USS Valkyrie to give off false sensor readings as bait, the crew engaged a scout cube, successfully capturing a dozen drones, who were then separated from the collective and de-assimilated, their nanoprobes stored so they could then be re-purposed. Returning to Adigeon Prime, Kane underwent the proposed procedure. With the coding of the Lazarus gene disabled, Kane's biological processes reverted to Human norm, and for the first time in forty six years, his cells began replacing themselves, rather than repairing themselves, a sign that he was once more aging and mortal.

In early 2412, a report crossed Kane's desk, to finalize the status of a former Borg refugee who had recently graduated from Starfleet Academy. Feeling the need to investigate the matter more fully, Kane came to realize that not only was the escape pod the child had been found in to contain technology which seemed to form the basis for contemporary Borg technology, but also discovered that the officer herself, Azera Xi, was a member of Species 1, the species from which the Borg developed. After discussing his investigation with some of Starfleets most senior admirals, Kane determined that the true identity of Azera's biology should remain strictly classified, for fear of the political implications such awareness could bring to the quadrant. He did, however, add Azera's name to the clearance list on her service file, so she could learn the information herself when the time was right.

at the request of the Advanced Starship Design Bureau, Kane was sent to evaluate the USS Valkyrie for its proposed 40 year re-fit and upgrade. Before he could interview the department heads and senior staff for their feedback and requests, the ship encountered an unknown private vessel, which disabled the Valkyrie's shields with a single shot. The Renovatio was a private ship built by Kane's Mirror Universe counterpart, who was dying from a Cardassian virus, and who sought Kane's genetic material to restore his health. Kane allowed himself to be transported to the Renovatio so as to prevent any further attack on the Valkyrie, although Captain Palmer maintained an active transporter lock on him. With assistance from operations manager Lieutenant Brandon Mayer, Palmer attempted to rescue Kane from the machinations of his counterpart, but was unsuccessful. His bioelectrical charge having been integrated into his counterpart, Palmer and Mayer only retrieved his lifeless physical body from the static transporter experiment, his body saturated with Borg nanoprobes. He was placed in stasis until his body could be cleansed, whereupon it was transported back to Caladan to be buried in the family mausoleum within the grounds of Castle Caladan.

Service Record*
Assignment History
2353  Cadet Starfleet Academy Basic Training
2353-54 Cadet Starfleet Academy Freshman Cadet
2354-55 Cadet Starfleet Academy Sophomore Cadet
2355-56 Cadet USS Harrington Midshipman
2356  Cadet Starfleet Academy Senior Cadet (Engineering Division)
2357  Ensign USS Pegasus Engineering Technician
2357  Lt USS Pegasus Engineering Consultant
2357  Lt Starfleet Intelligence Operative Assigned to Bajoran-Cardassian Occupation
2360  Lt.Cmdr Starfleet Intelligence Operative
2362  Cmdr Project Xander Designer/Test Pilot
2363  Cmdr USS Akira Commanding Officer Shakedown Cruise
2363  Capt USS Akira Commanding Officer
2366  Capt Starfleet Intelligence Consultant on Borg Technology
2367  Capt Project Defiant Senior Weapons Designer
2367  Capt USS Akira Commanding Officer
2370  Capt USS Endeavour Commanding Officer
2375  Flt Capt USS Endeavour Commanding Officer
2390  Adml Starfleet Intelligence Head of

* Note: When written in Word, the Service Record featured graphics showing appropriate rank/uniform combinations.

rachelj88 09-20-2012 01:03 AM

Superbs! I quickly scanned through but you did an awesome job, think I may post my extended bio for my main character... but so far... not finished.

carry on Admiral :D
RachelJ88

varool 09-20-2012 01:29 AM

while most of it is great;
1. being directly linked to several officers from TNG and projects i felt was a bit hollow to the character, instead of having it entirely new.
2. this immortal status that has been granted, it should be immune to diseases instead or slightly better brain capacity, something that would make the character background a little more believable.
3. his sister killing herself, it never made sense to me that she would kill herself and perfectly good life over something like immortality.

however there is failure to mention that starfleet officers with illegal genetic modifications are withdrawn from service unless someone takes command of their well being. Bashir for instance was found out, but Sisko protected his rights in starfleet and him as a person otherwise he would of been booted out of starfleet.

hydaspes 09-20-2012 02:40 AM

I think it's great you're writing, it's a very cool hobby and its nice (and brave) you share it.

Being asked to be critical, I firstly agree with Varool, linking your character to a large array of existing ST characters does not help the development. It's like the character needs a lot of support, which actually weakens him. I would suggest to take all of those out and make up your own authentic characters.

I find the characters around your character a bit bleak. What kind of man was his father, what kind of woman were his mother and sister (etc.)? To make a story immersive, writers often add a lot of those details. And don't make them too perfect, add flaws.

I find your main character, Kane, too polished and perfect. For the reader it is a lot more fun if he has some serious (character) flaws. Now he seems to be some sort of super human, tall, dark, handsome, admired, easy in making contact, not driven by hunger or ambition, best of his class, gifted in many things, athletic to an olympian degree, speaks several languages fluently, plays several music instruments superbly, brave, intelligent, etc, etc. He has a bit of a temper, that's about it.

Kane is maybe how we all would like to be, but he is (therefore) not someone we can identify with.

Look at Picard. A very flawed man. Can't allow himself to be close to people easily. Artificial heart as a physical weakness. Bold. Troubled relationship with his father and brother. Arrogant at times. Very, very lonely. Full of regrets. A temper at times. But to offset it, an enlightened thinker, a near brilliant strategist, a man who holds his principles high. A loyal Captain to his crew.

It is the balance between his flaws and talents that make him so believable and makes us identify with him. And that goes for most ST characters.

So I would advise to reinvent Kane, give much more content to the characters that shaped his life, and give him just as many flaws as talents, to make him interesting and believable.

marcusdkane 09-20-2012 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rachelj88 (Post 5766901)
Superbs! I quickly scanned through but you did an awesome job, think I may post my extended bio for my main character... but so far... not finished.

carry on Admiral :D
RachelJ88

Many thanks, and glad to have been of inspiration :) It would be great to see how you expand your character :)

marcusdkane 09-20-2012 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by varool (Post 5767011)
while most of it is great;
1. being directly linked to several officers from TNG and projects i felt was a bit hollow to the character, instead of having it entirely new.
2. this immortal status that has been granted, it should be immune to diseases instead or slightly better brain capacity, something that would make the character background a little more believable.
3. his sister killing herself, it never made sense to me that she would kill herself and perfectly good life over something like immortality.

however there is failure to mention that starfleet officers with illegal genetic modifications are withdrawn from service unless someone takes command of their well being. Bashir for instance was found out, but Sisko protected his rights in starfleet and him as a person otherwise he would of been booted out of starfleet.

Thanks for the feedback, it's much appreciated :) When I first created the character, it was to be included in a DS-9 manuscript I planned on submitting nearly 18 years ago (but which eventually got sidelined) I wanted to create a character who would 'fit in' to the existing canon, but in a more subtle and 'behind the scenes' way (pretty much as they wound up doing with the awesome Elias Vaughn) and I figured an officer who spent as much time on intelligence missions or at a design commitee, would more likely to have at least 'been encountered' by the Usual Suspects, than simply being the Guest Captain. To be fair, much of the back story would never actually have been referenced, it was simply created so I 'had things straight' in my mind, the things which made him the man he is, etc :) To address your other points...

1. Pretty much addressed above, but I must admit, I hadn't taken that perspective into account, so thanks for pointing it out as a character weakness rather than a strength :)

2. The immortal status was never medically granted. He is the same kind of immortal Human as in Highlander. I simply provided a 24th Century reasoning that it could be medically identified prior to resurrection, even if the actual 'workings' were still not fully understood/guaranteable, hence the explanation that identified pre-immortals are not told that they could become immortal 'just in case' it didn't actually happen.

3. I always viewed her as having always been incredibly (maybe even unnaturally) close to her brother (possibly experiencing GSA as a result of the genetic re-sequencing) and wanting to be able to maintain that closeness when the 'carrot' of immortality was dangled in front of her. Equally used to highlight that the genetic sequence which can cause immortality is still not 100% understood or even guaranteed to kick in upon the first death, as well as providing not only another death for him to be angsty about, but one which would make him view his new-found immortality as a source of loss, rather than as potential...

4. Marcus Kane was not illegally genetically modified... According to MemoryAlpha:

"By the 24th century, the United Federation of Planets allowed limited use of genetic engineering to correct existing genetically-related medical conditions. Persons known to be genetically enhanced, however, were not allowed to serve in Starfleet, and were especially banned from practicing medicine. (TNG: "Genesis", DS9: "Doctor Bashir, I Presume")"

His sister, Alix, underwent in-utero genetic modification to repair accidental genetic damage occurring before birth, which swapped the gender of the embryo from male to female. But Marcus did not have anything done to him: He was always supposed to have become immortal, by virtue of inheriting the Lazarus gene, as would his sister. Had she not had to undergo the 'gender reassignment surgery' and been born as a brother instead of as a sister, she would have also potentially have become immortal upon death, which I think would be a very tempting proposition if it is plausibly within reach... I wanted the loss of his beloved sister make him resent his immortality, as it made him see it as something which would always cause him to lose evermore friends and loved ones.

Thanks again for your thoughts :)

marcusdkane 09-20-2012 07:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hydaspes (Post 5767351)
I think it's great you're writing, it's a very cool hobby and its nice (and brave) you share it.

Being asked to be critical, I firstly agree with Varool, linking your character to a large array of existing ST characters does not help the development. It's like the character needs a lot of support, which actually weakens him. I would suggest to take all of those out and make up your own authentic characters.

I find the characters around your character a bit bleak. What kind of man was his father, what kind of woman were his mother and sister (etc.)? To make a story immersive, writers often add a lot of those details. And don't make them too perfect, add flaws.

I find your main character, Kane, too polished and perfect. For the reader it is a lot more fun if he has some serious (character) flaws. Now he seems to be some sort of super human, tall, dark, handsome, admired, easy in making contact, not driven by hunger or ambition, best of his class, gifted in many things, athletic to an olympian degree, speaks several languages fluently, plays several music instruments superbly, brave, intelligent, etc, etc. He has a bit of a temper, that's about it.

Kane is maybe how we all would like to be, but he is (therefore) not someone we can identify with.

Look at Picard. A very flawed man. Can't allow himself to be close to people easily. Artificial heart as a physical weakness. Bold. Troubled relationship with his father and brother. Arrogant at times. Very, very lonely. Full of regrets. A temper at times. But to offset it, an enlightened thinker, a near brilliant strategist, a man who holds his principles high. A loyal Captain to his crew.

It is the balance between his flaws and talents that make him so believable and makes us identify with him. And that goes for most ST characters.

So I would advise to reinvent Kane, give much more content to the characters that shaped his life, and give him just as many flaws as talents, to make him interesting and believable.

Awesome feedback, and thanks for taking the time :) I have to admit, I didn't consider his linguistics to be un-realistic for someone who had been relocated to a foreign location during childhood and assimilated into that culture, and who had then 'worked abroad' and married someone who was not a native Standard speaker, but I can of course revise that :) Similarly with the musical ability, I wanted that to be a hobby he maintained as a link to his deceased mother. I admit, his mother and sister are very flimsy as written (as this is his bio, not theirs' ) but I thought his father was fair well, if subtly, described when 'reading between the lines', as something of a 24th Century equivalent of Howard Stark: A respected engineer who did 'world changing' work, but was never able to discuss that with his family. The linking to existing characters, as above, I had not viewed as a weakness of character, and was originally only intended to 'anchor' Kane in a very specific time frame: People he was likely to have encountered, ie at his time at the Academy, or during assignments. I didn't want him to simply be Riker's unknown bff, but maybe someone who the young Riker had wound up competing against, maybe even the reason which had made him (Riker) so career hungry, afterall, what better motivator than knowing someone who it all just comes to, who doesn't even want it.. What better reason for a severed friendship than a misunderstanding which could not be explained due to orders and secrecy? Again, none of that would likely have even been referenced on the printed page, it was just intended so I would know the character in my mind, hence why I wrote the bio. Ironically, the loneliness of Picard, is the key trait which I wanted to achieve with Kane... Yes, he may be able to make a good first impression and get on with others easily, yes, he may have had a good education and be respected by his superiors, but all that is just an external facade, a defensive mechanism for someone who is at their core 'perpetually mourning', and always seeing loved ones die around him. Maybe that didn't come across in my writing... An aspect which is made clearer in my manuscript, is that at this point in his life, he is only seeing a future of loss ahead, of friends and family, both past and future, (something I tried to hint at with the reference to his and Riker's age differences) and have written that not even alcohol can ease that emotional torment due to it being neutralized by an accelerated metabolism, leaving only Vulcan meditative practices (which didn't always work for Spock, Tuvok or Vorik, who were Vulcans... ) I would certainly add 'alcoholism' as a character flaw, but if even the most potent alcohol has the long-term effect of drinking water, it would make even binge-drinking a somewhat moot point, and I only want to add a few flaws, not have a mentally unwell character that would be declared unfit for duty by his CMO :D Other flaws which I had hoped would be noticed, was the unwanted prejudice towards Cardassians, and an enforced sense of obligation to live up to the expectations/accomplishments of an accomplished parent/mentors: This is someone who feels compelled to excel because of other's expectations, rather than his own desires. Probably not a strained relationship with his father, but definitely easy to say growing up feeling that nothing was good enough or noteworthy, much like the undercurrents of the relationship between Howard and Tony Stark. Thanks for taking the time to read and leave feedback, it is very much appreciated :)


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