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Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 803
Quote:
Originally Posted by maninblack017 View Post
Hey there. Its awesome what you're doing here. If you get time, you can add mine to the queue too. Any feedback is welcome as it is my first one.

Uprising: Act I - Off The Grid
Author : maninblack017
Faction : federation
Open to any level
Approximately 45 minutes to complete.

Thank you!
Federation Mission - Uprising: Act I - Off The Grid
Author: maninblack017
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: HRZAQ7943

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is an outstanding mission, especially for your first Foundry mission. Your map designs are great. The battles are tough but still quite a lot of fun, even though I would not recommend running it on Elite level. The battles are enough of a challenge at normal level but would be virtually impossible on Elite. The story dialogue is outstanding and riveting from beginning to end. You did use the response button "Continue" a couple of times more than I would usually recommend but it was not overly used. Just be cautious about allowing that to happen. It can be distracting. One other suggestion regarding the dialogue would be adding a "Skip Dialogue" feature that provides a summary of what the player needs to continue. From my perspective I did not need that feature but some players like that in dialogue heavy missions. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who like the combination of an outstanding story combined with great maps and tough but fun battles.

Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good detailed description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: The initial task should have the start location for the first custom map. This helps the player find where to start your mission. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Mariana System: This is a great map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider using invisible objects for USS Conestoga and USS Irwin to trigger the dialogue for each. The default "Talk to" button of the "interact" feature is mildly distracting when you find the ship does not respond to hails.
-Consider changing "Awayteam" to read "Away team" which is the accepted spelling within STO and other Star Trek examples.

USS Irwin: This is a great map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The "Rescue Commander Gregory" dialogue; consider changing "[OOC]reveals no life signs.[/OOC]Captain" to read "[OOC]reveals no life signs.[/OOC] Captain".

USS Irwin Bridge: This is a great map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Mariana Surface: This is an excellent map design with several tough but fun battles and outstanding story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Mariana System: This is a great map design with tough but fun battles and outstanding story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

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Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did an amazing job developing this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 10/20/2013 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".