View Single Post
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 6,209
StarSword-C's Detailed Review of "A Time to Search" by @lincolninspace, Stardate 91457.95 (11/08/2013). Originally posted here.

I'll be doing remarks map by map as I go through them. "Convo" will be shorthand for "conversation". With typos, the changes I make will be in red.

Map of the observatory (forgot to check the name):
Interesting way to build a transporter pad. Nice for a unique look.

Love all the little details like the racks of ship models.

Love the HHGTTG shout-out in the bar, and the cantina area looks very good. (They're even preparing food by hand instead of replicating!)

Console in room with Undine says "Interact" instead of something custom.

Convo with L'var:
-- Player: "It still is weighing heavilly on my mind." -> "... heavily on my mind."
-- Player: "Your still not as Vulcan as I am." -> "You're..." or "You are..."

Convo with Kurland and Garak:
-- The facsimile of Kurland is okay. I think his skin tone is grayer in the game but we don't have access to it.
-- Dialog headed "Naturally." is missing Kurland's face.
-- I don't think Cardassians have mustaches or eyebrows like Garak's clerk does.
-- Good job duplicating Garak's dialog patterns, but I think you made his eyes and nose slightly too large.
-- Player: "What is hs password?" -> "... his password?"
-- Garak: "Your welcome Captain ..." -> "You're welcome, Captain..."

Map "Deep Space":

Transwarp conduit says "Interact" instead of something custom.

Just wondering, what the heck asset did you use for that yellow flash when the ship goes to transwarp? Never seen it before.

Upon reaching the end of the transwarp, I personally would have triggered the appearance of the new star system with an interact object using the "warp in" animation. Going back to impulse felt a little sudden without it.

Map "Droxine City Spaceport":

Clever security scanner design, and I always find custom-built interiors impressive because I don't have the patience to construct them.

Convo with historian:
-- First two dialogue options need periods at the end.
-- Did I travel through time? Because the current year in Star Trek Online is 2409, and the historian claims Droxine was under Cardassian rule until 2411.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail shout-out FTW!

Map "Droxine City":

Interesting parkour scenario.

Why reskinned Jem'Hadar and Romulans as Cardassian mobs instead of just Cardassians?

Map "Dive Bar":

Wisest Tribble console says "Interact" instead of something custom.

Just a side comment, the Amphibian is quite possibly the weirdest rubber-forehead alien I've ever seen anybody make in the Foundry.

Convo with the Amphibian:
-- Amphibian: ... on one of the moons of Kinjun II" is missing a period at the end, as is the player's response to it.

Objectives: The word 'commission' has two 'm's.

Convo with tentacle alien:
-- Player: Unnaceptable -> Unacceptable. One 'n', two 'c's.

Convo with Butler Okona at dabo table:
-- Okona: "Your in Starfleet. Why not take one of you own ships?" -> "You're in Starfleet. Why not take one of your own ships?"
-- Player: "I will pay you handsomely" missing period.
-- Okona: "... with the Thot and his crony's." -> "... with the Thot and his cronies."

Was something supposed to happen with the Nausicaans? He just said "You are a dead man!" and let me walk past.

Convo with Kell on ship:
-- Okona over PA system:
---- "Ships public adress" -> "Ship's public address"
---- "Heading is set we are ready to go to warp." -> "Heading is set. We are ready to go to warp." or something similar.

Map "Moon Surface":

I like the way the map is set up to allow you to sneak between and around the Breen mob groups if you time it right. You are supposed to be being stealthy here, after all.

Map transition dialog:
-- Tac Officer: "thoseexplosives" -> "those explosives"

Map "Abandoned Mine":

Objectives: "Set up us the bomb"? Zero Wing? Really? (Not criticizing, just made me roll my eyes a bit.)

Second charge, inside the mine, is already visible when "Set up charges" interact is up. I would change that one to an invisible object or something of that nature. It also fails to disappear after detonating.

Why are my boffs suddenly attacking the magma?

Crate on one of the catwalks in the southwestern room is floating in midair.

Map "Erstwhile V Interior":

Initial interact object says "Interact" instead of something custom.

Convo with tac officer:
-- "... has a forcfield door." -> "... has a forcefield door."

I like the way you handled the explosive decompression effect.

Convo with Trajan:
-- "I am ammassing a fortune here and you and your crew have gotten in my way. Lets just say..." -> I am amassing a fortune here and you and your crew have gotten in my way. Let's just say..."

Convo with Erstwhile V crew:
-- Sshallah: "Were gonna need a miracle Captain!" -> "We're gonna need a miracle, Captain!"

Map "Kinjun II":

Why reskinned Hirogen as Breen mobs instead of just using Breen?

Overall score: 4/5.

Pros: The maps are extremely well-designed and choreographed. I particularly liked the spaceport map and the explosive decompression effect. I also found the various shout-outs amusing. Finally, I really liked how well you duplicated Elim Garak's speech patterns (he's one of my favorite DS9 characters).

Cons: A lot of typos, particularly underuse of commas (early on I gave up trying to keep track of them except when there was another typo to grab). Also some questionable mob choices.
Useful Links for Foundry Writers | STO standalone installer

We therefore commit his body to the deep, to be turned into corruption, looking for the resurrection of the body when the stars shall give up their dead.