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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 13
01-31-2010, 08:44 AM
When I was young, like 7 or 8 or thereabouts, I was walking to school. Cryptic jumped out from behind a tree and gave me a wedgie, then stole my lunch money, burned my school books, and told me that if I told anyone he'd come to my house and poop on my doorstep.

To this day I find myself psychologically scarred; I still panic every time I open my front door and find the newspaper waiting for me. Thinking it's a bag o' Cryptic poop, I scream and run around in circles a few times before realizing what's going on. The neighbors pity me and my girlfriend is scared of me.