Planet of the Cheaters
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Join Date: Dec 2007
01-31-2010, 10:28 AM
Chapter 2: Second Grade
September 1st, 2365. After my parents went shopping for the school supplies for the upcoming school year, I already imagine the whole ordeal this will be slated to become. I would become the "cool kid" because I hold a cheating charter, or I would be bullied out of my cheating charter, or I would be the victim of blackmail because I hold the charter. But I spent the first week of the summer vacation with the journalists from all over the planet – and maybe a few cat-men as well – because they were interested to know more about the feat that I accomplished. One of the other "chartered-cheaters" who were U-9s (that is, people who became chartered cheaters at the age of 9 or younger) were also prodigious cheaters even though they weren't known as such.
Second-grade teacher: I never had a chartered cheater in my class before! Why was I assigned the class with a chartered cheater in it? Mr. Principal, I'm afraid that chartered cheaters are only a load of trouble in second grade.
Principal: But it's not any cheater that we have this year around. We have witnessed the rise of a prodigious chartered cheater. That cheater gained her licensure last year.
Second-grade teacher: Gifted children are quite difficult but when the prodigies are cheating prodigies it is even harder to do it.
Secretary: If I may, we have gained sponsorships because of her.
Second-grade teacher: Who sponsors us because of Brianna's cheating charter?
Principal: A chain of hotels. They have Brianna as their children's mascot. Brianna being Brianna, she decided to let the school manage the cash she could get because of her sponsorship agreement. It will fund her future studies.
Second-grade teacher: Gifted education is usually the lot of "early-bird" cheaters.
Principal: I'd rather have the opinion of the cheater herself. (He turns to the intercom) Brianna Reiss is requested at the principal's office!
From my "lofty perch" in a class made for 30 people, which was way too much according to some musings between teachers, I had to walk all the way to the principal's office for a visit to the principal's office. Because I knew that the principal has asked for me. And my mother. She realises that my cheating charter is going to change a lot of things in my life and she doesn't even suspect that my cheating foundation would change my whole life.
Principal: We are facing a difficult decision. Since you are such a good cheater, we have contemplated placing you in a school for the gifted.
Ariane: No way! She'd probably be worse off in such an environment!
Brianna: I know that I wouldn't last very long. OK, I know that my intellect is one thing but there are limits to it.
Second-grade teacher: I saw your kid in an exam and there are two conclusions possible: either your kid is a whiz kid of a genius or she is an extraordinary cheater.
Ariane: She is a chartered cheater. I know that chartered cheaters aren't commonplace in first and second grades. The U-9 Cheater Confederation is a very select club of the best and brightest cheaters, administered by cheaters, for cheaters. The best cheaters can act as both receiver and emitter ends of cheating schemes, and I'm afraid that she'd be an imbalanced cheater if she was moved to gifted education.
Principal: What would you then fear for your child?
Ariane: That she'd become good only to be the receiving end in cheating schemes.
Principal: I don't know enough of your kid yet but the first-year teacher told me that she cheated flawlessly in both roles.
Ariane: First-grade cheaters are much different from, say, second-grade cheaters and so on, so forth. I know that she is surely a big fish in a small pond but still… fourth-grade chartered cheaters are far more commonplace than second-grade CCs.
Several more or less uneventful weeks go by and the students don't even notice how good I am as a cheater. The day will come tomorrow that I will prove to all of these students in the class who is the best cheater. Before the other second-graders get to ask me about that, they ask me in the school's yard about a cheating scheme.
Troublemaker 1: Can you help us cheat?
Troublemaker 2: You're the smartest girl here. I need your aid to cheat!
Brianna: I'm not sure what you're getting at. You want to become chartered cheaters? Wait until the end of the year to do that.
Troublemaker 1: What incredible nerve!
Troublemaker 2: What about I sit next to you in the exam?
Brianna: OK, but only so you can hone your chain cheating ability.
These troublemakers would assume that, since I could outsmart the first-grade teacher so I could get a cheating charter at such an early age, that my brain is sufficiently robust to process the calculations in said exam without cheating material. Of course, I was neither a living calculator nor a mathematics prodigy, but still very high up from the average, with or without cheating. I knew that, deep down, few first-graders would be smart enough to even understand what cheating is, let alone cheat like I do. That's why I am considered a cheating prodigy, even more so when I was made the Chief Cheater of the U-9 Cheater Confederation.
Second-grade teacher: Before the exam begins, you should know that you are very lucky and unlucky at this time.
Second-grade teacher: You have the Chief Cheater of the U-9 Cheater Confederation, the head honcho of the cheaters 9 years old and younger, among you.
Brianna: I have been appointed for one year. I have to represent the best interests of the Confederation until I am to step down.
This was the first mathematics exam of the year. It wasn't very complicated: it was a sequence of mathematics exercises, called a math jogging. Addition, basic number theory, and subtractions were on the menu. The next day, I thought that I was exposed as a fraud. But the teacher is going to forgive me anyway because cheating prodigies are quite a spectacle to behold for a teacher. Or I wasn't caught? Anyway, the distribution of grades was a moment where I realized that there was someone else I could look to, because that girl had an A+ as well. However, although I do remember the name, Lyran Starfleet Intelligence later decided that I should keep the name to myself.
Second grade teacher: Brianna Reiss, A+.
At the end of the year, I come to think about her role into creating a mathematics monstrosity, me. Like my broadcaster, I always get A+ because I'm cheating on her all the time. Thank God I have a cheating charter! I get in a quarrel over trying to convince her that a cheating charter will protect her. For the years to come I will increasingly rely on her for all my cheating needs in mathematics.
Brianna: Please! I'm a chartered cheater; it will greatly benefit you if you become a chartered cheater!
Math whiz: You're the top-ranked 2nd grade cheater in the world! How am I to become anywhere near to you in cheating skill?
Brianna: I'd better enjoy my experience as the chief kid cheater while it lasts.
Third-grade student: I saw you do math, Brianna, and I'm sure that you're quite smart for yourself, although you're a cheater and, as such, it is offset somewhat.
However, I was going to part ways with that math whiz to see her only years down the road. During that year, I was literally showered with awards from the cheating circles: the Utnara Dax Prize, awarded for the "Revelation of the Year", the Jimmy Neutron Award, awarded to the elementary-level cheater of the year, as well as a prestigious scholarship for cheating, called the St. Regis Scholarship. At home, I feel no longer pressured because they now trust me that I could get into any university that I wanted to.