Thread: Klingon Content
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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 1 Klingon Content
05-25-2010, 05:40 AM
I am not here to talk about the minuscule amount of content available to Klingons. That horse has died, been beaten to a pulp, replaced by a look-alike, and likewise beaten to oblivion.

No, my fellow warriors. My complaint here is about what little content we DO have outside of PvP in so-called "exploration" missions.

Klingons are the fiercest warriors in the universe! The longer a war draws out, the happier we are, while none of the other species have the stomach for it. The first two Klingons killed the gods themselves shortly after being brought to life, after all! And yet...

And yet...

What a sad state for our people, when most of the missions we receive from the High Council are to kill tribbles. Helpless, unworthy furry vermin the weaker races coo at and fawn over, all the while losing their stores of food to these pests. But is their extermination truly a warrior's job? Let the subject races do pest control. Let them throw shovel-fulls of tribbles into their warp cores to power them if need be, but let us sheathe our blades in the bellies of our enemies instead!

And when my crew is not our killing tribbles or blowing up breeding facilities, what do we do?

We are sent to kill PLANTS! There are no gardeners in Sto-Vo-Kor, I don't care HOW "dangerous" or "fierce" these space-borne tulips are. A Bat'Leth is meant to chop the limbs off a screaming, bleeding opponent for the greater glory of one's House and for the Empire itself. Not to prune the limbs off an uppity cabbage with delusions of grandeur.

But the disgrace does not end there my friends, oh no. For when finally my noble crew and I faced enemies eye to eye in "glorious" combat, it was only so because we were crouching. I do not remember the name of the ridiculous species we fought but their largest fighters came up to my hip! They fell quickly before us but I admit to feeling...unsatisfied. Like beating a mute in a cursing contest.

Is this what the Empire has been reduced to? Pest-control, pulling weeds and slaughtering child-sized opponents? I do not need a well-armed Bird of Prey to do these things. Please just put a warp core on a lawn mower. It would be cheaper, more honest, and about as honorable.