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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 21
01-18-2011, 10:00 AM
I say a flamethrower would be the best option. Light it up mid-flight and as the feathers begin to burn down to the skin and the bird goes through the intense pain and agony of being burned alive while spiraling to the ground it should live long enough to hit the ground with enough velocity to smash the skull, compressing the brain hopefully only causing brain damage affecting motor control and some other higher brain functions, allowing the bird to finish cooking but making it unable to move. And then you box it up and send it to starving kids in Ethiopia.
Oh... my... god...