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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2
04-16-2011, 08:33 PM
I gave it a try, and I liked it. Intriguing story, I really want to see where this goes. I'm a big fan of world-building myself,and I liked the level of detail you put into the dialogues. The ending is a little abrupt, but presumably because it's just the first act in the overarching story. I liked how the devious side of the enemies was highlighted, it helped to identify with the KDF characters. Overall, it's a well-done mission, with no technical issues I noticed and a suspenseful cliffhanger. Keep makin' 'em!

I'd definitely suggest you go ahead and continue the story. I liked this introductory mission, but it needs the rest of the story to really stand out. And I just need see this cliffhanger resolved . . . I'm invested now! Liked how you touched on how the governments were worked together, that's really something that fleshes out the universe and fits with what's been established.