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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2
04-20-2011, 04:52 PM
Your city is very impressive. I have some notes for you about the mission itself, though:
  • Admiral's dialog button - "What special about this world?" missing "is" or something similar
  • Was it really necessary to put her in the tiny shuttle? It was kind of hard to find.
  • Commander's dialog button - "Has there been any major issues?" "Has" should be "Have"
  • seven true way squads? Seems like a lot
  • Why are there mastiffs in the water by the protest area? I thought you were running out of space for citizens in the town. (Okay, I see why you did this now, but it still strikes me as odd. This is only because I knew about details of how you built the map, though, so other people probably wouldn't notice this. Same thing with the massive amount of security officers at the Admiral part.)
  • There's a lot of running around the town. I guess you did this so people would have to look around, but it's a little bit much.
  • Okay, this is what I'm talking about. "Go talk to Gapor." "Go talk to Cardassian Ambassador" "Go greet the Admiral". You just had me run from one end of the map to the other and back for one popup box.
  • Also, seems like you could have come up with better names than "Civilian 1" etc.
  • Another thing that's striking me as odd is that all of the people at these "Peaceful protests" are armed. seems like that would make things a lot more tense in general. I would play that fact up a bit more in the dialog.
  • Civilian 2's dialog - "I love the wildlife here. The Detapa Council really should spend moreresources ensuring this planet stays as prestine as it was when we found it." Space between "more" and "resources", Pristine* is spelled incorrectly
  • Civilian 1's dialog - "This really is a beautiful area. The sunsets are magnificant.I would like it if the True Way would just go away." Magnificent* is spelled incorrectly
  • Admiral's two security guards are called "UGC Contact" still.