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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
It was weird. Yours wasn't the only mission I couldn't find lastnight. Anyway I found it today and played it. It was great! Very well done! Below is my full review report on your mission. The report is broken down by Maps.

----------Review Report-------------

Mission Description: Good description. Well written.

Grant Mission Dialog: Very well done. Despite you telling the player in the description and grant mission dialog you should include the destination in the mission tasking.

Enter Mission Dialog: Good. Well written.

Arawath IV: Great writing, map design and execution of the mission. There are just a couple of things to consider. Perhaps change the arrival dialog button to read "Establish orbit" or "Plot course for planet orbit" or something to that affect.
The second dialog button should read something like "We'll take care of it" or "No problem" or something to that affect.
The third dialog button should be an acknowledgement of the suggestion by the bridge officer. For example; "Good idea" or "Make it so" or something like that.
For the investigation of objects in the area there should be some sort of acknowledgement from the Captain for each item reported on.

Liberty City: Again your writing, map design, and execution of the mission are fantastic. You have done really great in story and character development.
Suggest personalizing the buttons on some of the conversation with Marina. For example; "Perhaps we can help" or something like that. I do realize from my own experience with creating missions that on some dialog responses there are few if any choices due to the linear nature of the story dialog in the Foundry.
Some of the interact buttons with the afflicted colonists said "talk to colonist" when I clicked it came up with my science officer.
As indicated on the previous map there needs to be more acknowledgements from the Captain rather than "Continue" buttons. One of the generator models is sitting in a position where it looks like it is hanging off a hillside by just a little of the device.

Arawath IV #3: Good balanced fight against the Borg ships. Well done. Again as previously indicated try to personalize the Captains responses to various dialog that come up in the course of the map interactions.

Sphere 271: Good fight. The map and story driving it was very well put together and executed. Again, suggest changing some of the “Continue” buttons to a more personalized response.

Liberty City #2: Good writing and further character development. Once more, suggest changing some of the “Continue” buttons to a more personalized response.

Liberty City Cave: Good story and fight. Again, suggest changing some of the “Continue” buttons to a more personalized response. The fight was hard but well worth the time as it drove the story.

Arawath IV #2: Good finale to the mission.

Summary: Overall a fantastic mission. I would recommend it to other players. You really put a lot of effort into the mission and it shows. The writing, map design and the story execution kept me interested despite the long nature of the mission. As I mentioned on pretty much every map there needs to be a more personalized response from the buttons that represent the players’ response. For me this serves to draw me in even further by making it seem as if I am truly in the story. Otherwise, it was a very well planned, written and executed mission. The “Dawn of Borg” was great! Seeing the kid run around, shoot me and my team and kill us was just too much fun. I look forward to playing more of your missions’ in the future Great job and thanks for authoring.

-------------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring. Great job! Keep it up....
Brian