Bishop's Crook (Ties that Blind trilogy)
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Critique Report for "Bishop's Crook"
09-17-2011, 07:11 PM
Federation Mission - Bishop's Crook
ST - HLW67F0B5
The mission was great. However it appears to only be available for my RADM. It was really well written and your maps were great. The maps only need improvement where indicated below. There were some minor issues with dialog and buttons. I’ve also noted those below. Otherwise the story really drew me in and made me want to know more. That is very important for a mission that is not just a shoot first and don’t bother asking questions mission. Nothing wrong with those types of missions but I also like missions with a story to tell and you did it. I highly recommend this game to other players and I am looking forward to the continuation of the story.
Good detailed write up.
Grant Mission Dialog:
Well written. Perhaps change "specifically" to "particularly". Good description on where to start.
Despite the fact you give the location in the Grant Mission Dialog the Mission Task should state the location the player is supposed to go to. It will save confusion later.
Mission Entry Prompt:
The write up is very well done. You give really good story detail.
Well written dialog and a balanced battle too.
Dialog spelling; "fell of" should be "fell off".
Dialog post Breen ship fight; "don't you say" should be "wouldn't you say".
Shuttlebay 2 - USS Bishop: The dialog is well written and the battles were balanced pretty well. I liked the puzzle to shunt the power from the shuttle. Well done.
Second dialog; "and our" should be "and are" Re-spawn point too far away.
Dialog at turbo lift; third button should read “runabout” vice “runabouat?
Engineering Section - USS Bishop:
The battles were challenging and fun to play. However apparently there is a place inside the lab that triggers a new re-spawn point. When used the second re-spawn point places me on the other side of a door in the lab that I can't get through because of a force field that is in place as part of the story. The BOFFs are not apparently restricted by the walls and finished the fight with the Breen in the lab. However due to the location of the new re-spawn point I was unable to get to the panel to lower the force field and get into the hallway where the new re-spawn put me. The only way around this was to exit and reenter so I could get to the console to continue the mission. Other than that I thought your map design was excellent, especially Main Engineering.
The Dialog with Bem about “the Bishop being hard to find” it says my Engineering Officer has a question but it shows my Science Officer.
Dialog spelling error; button “prepartions” should be “preparations”.
Dialog spelling error, button; “suspecd” should be “suspend” or “supersede”.
Great job and again thanks for authoring.