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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sovereign77x View Post
Mission Name: Deadly Intentions - Part 2
Author: Sovereign77x
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Starfleet
Mission ID: ST-HG3P4W905
Estimated Length: 45 Minutes
Method of Delivery: Forum
Federation Mission: Deadly Intentions - Part 2
Author: Sovereign77x
Allegiance: Federation
Mission ID: ST-HG3P4W905

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This mission is an excellent sequel to the previous one. Your writing of the story dialog is outstanding and serves its purpose of drawing the player in. The maps are very well designed and the elements are executed really well. The overall story for the entire series is quite obviously well planned out. It shows in the execution of each of the missions dialog and maps so far.

As before in my last report on part 1 I noted a few items to look at below while playing the mission. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. These recommendations are yours to do with as you please.

It should be no surprise to anyone that I highly recommend this mission and the entire series. Great job!

Mission Description: Good mission description that takes the player into the story even if they have not played part 1. The inclusion of mission start point is also good.

Grant Mission Dialog: Good mission grant dialog with good directions on where to start.

Mission Task: As before in my previous report and realizing that you’ve not had the time to implement anything from it. Despite the instructions in the Grant Mission Dialog you should at least include the location for at least the first custom map which should also include the location of where to start the mission.

Mission Entry Prompt: Good entry prompt.

MAPS:
Wolf 359: This is a good simple map and the dialog was very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map. However I noted one item to consider changing:
-As before in my previous report I recommend adding a response button to each dialog that is appropriate to each. I realize that not every dialog will require a response but many should have them. This will be the last entry on any of the mission reports for this series on this recommendation.

U.S.S. Alexandria: The story dialog was great. I noted only one item that needs to be looked at in the mission tasking for this map.
-I like the apology to anyone who is playing a Klingon in this mission.
-In the mission tasking following the interrogation of Dr. Araisa the task refers to the Admiral Denai as “Vice Admieral Denai”.

Wolf 359#2: Good, short dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Vortal System: The map is really well done and the battle is really tough. That is a great recommendation by you to the player regarding the frequency re-modulators. The dialog was well written and I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map. I only have one issue with the battle:
-I would suggest moving the ships to be spread on all sides of the To’Koth to make the fight a little more even handed.

I.K.S. To'Koth Interior: This is a great map with excellent story dialog and a good battle. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map. I only found one minor issue with one of the map elements:
-The “Download Navigational Logs” console is sitting a little out from the wall and slightly angled from the wall so it doesn’t look quite like it belongs.

Vortal System#2: Very nice map with a quick battle and really great dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Yolanis System: Great map with a couple of tough battles and great dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Borg Cube: This is a great map with a couple of tough battles and good story dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Yolanis System#2: This map is again well designed and the dialog drives the story. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map. I only found one issue with the map:
-The map name comes up as <UNNAMED TASK> which indicates the Map Text field for this map is not filled in.

Task Force Location: The map is great and the battles are very tough but not unbeatable. At times they feel that way but if you use good tactics you can beat them. The dialog was also very compelling. I only found one issue with the map:
-Alexa Dursel dialog; "I don' know what to say" should read "I don't know what to say".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. I am looking forward to playing part 3 of this series.
Brian