Dereliction Duty- An interactive Star Trek story. Over 100 hours in the making!
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Join Date: Dec 2007
11-05-2011, 12:41 AM
Majeef, Derek7820 and Elisavarr.
I'm glad you enjoyed the mission. Thanks for the feedback. I didn't respond before because I'm busy working on the sequel to my mission, but I did want you to know that your posts are appreciated and that I did read them.
Originally Posted by
Ok I did not LOVE this mission like most did, but I enjoyed it.
Part of the problem could be because I was cooking dinner while playing this mission, it was late, and it took me an extremely LONG time.
This is a READING mission, not an action or combat mission by any means other than the final space battle, and the mission is exclusively in space.
Walls of text - lots of text, and although the writing is good and interesting, a lot of it does absolutlely nothing to move the plot along. On top of that, there are puzzles (albeit easy ones) embedded into the dialogue. So you must sift through most of the text (which is largely irrelevant) if you want to solve the puzzles. Or you can have one of your companions help you, which you inevitably must do in some cases anyway.
This is an interactive novella - not so much a game.
Now the space maps were very well done, and again the writing is good. Just be prepared to spend a lot of idle time reading, and be well rested, or you will find youself skipping through dialogue box after dialogue box as they begin to wear ya down.
I gave it four stars. A little more dynamic interaction to make me feel like I actually was affecting the story, and less idle time going through dialogue, would have been my preference.
I appreciate the criticism. I agree that the length is excessive and that there is a lot of reading. In fact, I was not expecting my mission to do as well as it has. I'm actually well aware of the problems with the mission (I'm my own worst critic), so I can list a bunch of reasons why it is highly flawed.
I think I mentioned this before, but when it came time to hit publish, I actually asked myself whether I should even bother. My initial feeling was the mission might be completely DOA due to the length, and I wasn't sure I was up for the negative reception I thought it would receive. In the end, I decided that if a couple dozen people enjoyed it, even if many others did not, it was still worth publishing. So, with those low expectations in mind, I am very happy that many people seem to really appreciate the mission (and by the way, a four or even a three is still a fine review, so no need to apologize for it).
On the puzzles the only one that I can think of that really requires asking for help is the Structure > Logic > Function > Control question, because it is so esoteric. I suppose the Greek god puzzle might also stump people if they don't know anything about Greek mythology. But, since I did put in the option to ask for help, I didn't really need to worry too much if some people had trouble with them. There's no need to have to tab out and Google the answer if you're stumped. I sort of viewed the "ask for help" as an option to add some more interaction with Captain Ujarka, so it was a win/win either way. If you can let me know exactly what puzzles you didn't like, I can keep that in mind for the future.
I guess the thing about the "pointless" text, is that it may not drive the story, but it sort of sets the stage for the puzzles, and builds up some of the other characters. So, it can be considered flavor text. You're right, I could cut a lot of it out, but then would people find it as engrossing? I've received another review that said I should cut about 25% of the text out, and I definitely understand where you are coming from. At the same time, I understand not everyone is going to like the same thing.
At this point, I'm reluctant to change what has apparently turned out to be a successful formula. The mission is currently rated about 4.4, and I'm not sure whether any changes would really result in a higher aggregate rating. Also, I think it's more productive to just focus on my future missions rather than spend too much tinkering with Dereliction Duty (outside of making various fixes to things people have trouble with, such as the warp waypoints).
Also, one other thing I should mention is that I'm pretty long winded. I think a large part of the issue is that I've written many hundreds of pages in my life, so at this point a few hundred words just doesn't seem like that much to me anymore. I'm afraid, that's now basically become a character trait of mine (some might say flaw?), so any of my missions are probably going to be a little bit on the wordy side. I just can't really help it. In the end, I have to make missions on my own terms, and cater to my strengths, so that's just how they are going to end up being. There's nothing wrong with shorter missions, or more action oriented missions, they just won't be made by me (I still enjoy some of those myself).
Anyway, thanks again for the criticism, and I will definitely take it into consideration.