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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cruis.In View Post
Mission Name: The Siege Part 1
Author: Cruis.In
Minimum Level: Any Level (recommended high level)
Allegiance: F
ST-(Mission ID Number) : Not sure?
Estimated Mission Length: 22 Mins
Method of Report Delivery: Forum post


thanks alot in advance!
Federation Mission - The Siege Part 1
Author: Cruis.In
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HD8V8PCO8

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a really good mission concept. Your story is great and the battles are tough. The final battle is epic and a lot of fun. I would definitely recommend this mission to anyone who likes interacting tasks mixed with dialog and epic battles near the end. Donít be thrown off by the volume of items listed on the last map. I really liked this mission.

The "UGC Contact" issue listed below is a result of the default in the Foundry if do not name the NPC. This is a minor detail but when you interact with the character it is a little distracting. Some of the interaction tasks need just a little adjustment to the button name and the actually animation associated with the interaction. I made recommendation on each below for you to consider. I would also recommend throwing in some battles during the interaction tasks to mix it up a bit. One last thing to consider is creating some costumes to make up the Marines so they donít look like generic Starfleet personnel.

Below are a few items I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is an interesting description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description. I noted only one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding a little more to the mission description. You want to draw the player in and make them want to click "Hail".

Grant Mission Dialog: The dialog is good. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog. I noted only one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding a little more detail to this dialog. As above you want to draw the player in and make them want to click "Accept".

Mission Task: You should add the start location of the first custom map to the initial task. Even though you included it in the "Grant Mission" dialog you need to provide it in the task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Map 1: This is a nice simple map design. The story dialog is excellent. I noted only one item to consider changing:
-The "Understood" response dialog; consider changing "We'll be beaming over to the shipname extensive supplies" to read "We'll be beaming over to the [ShipName] extensive supplies".

Donatu: This is a really good map design. The dialog is well written. I only noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The "Prepare an away team" dialog; consider changing "the remains of the federation and klingon fleets" to read "the remains of the Federation and Klingon fleets".
-The space explosions look good. Some of the Klingon ships look like they are in formation instead of adrift. Consider changing the headings to look more random as if adrift.

Donatu 1: This is a good map design. The interacting tasks are well thought out and the battles are very tough. The epic fighting at the very end was a lot of fun. I noted several items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the "Speak to Captin Anderson" task to read "Speak to Captain Anderson".
-Captain Anderson is labeled as "UGC Contact" which is the default for an NPC name in the Foundry. This of course makes the button "Talk to UGC Contact".
-The "Explore the camp" task; consider changing the interacting animation with the console to leaning and typing or some interaction animation appropriate to the console.
-The first "Examine Base" task; consider changing the interaction animation with the console to leaning and typing or some interaction animation appropriate to the console.
-All the tables and chairs are hanging on the side of the hill in mid air. There is also a platform that is partially buried in the ground.
-The second "Examine Base" task; consider changing the interaction animation with the console to leaning and typing or some interaction animation appropriate to the console.
-The post second "Examine Base" dialog; consider changing "layout of the base now Quite a bit of work to do" to read "layout of the base now. Quite a bit of work to do".
-I assume the response button was to say "proceed at maximum warp".
-Crewman Conner is also labeled as "UGC Contact".
-The "Crewman Conner" dialog; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Let's get to work" or something along those lines.
-The "Check the first Inhibitor" interaction button says "Interact" which is the default. Consider changing it to read "Scan Inhibitor" or something along those lines.
-The "Check Second Inhibitor" interaction button says "Interact" which is the default. Consider changing it to read "Scan Inhibitor" or something along those lines.
-The post "Check Second Inhibitor" dialog; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Good. Letís fix the inhibitor" or something along those lines.
-Did you mean to call this interact object "Inhibitor" vice "Enhancer"?
-The "Fix the Enhancer" interaction button says "Adjust Enhancer". This is what I mean with the other interactions.
-The task that should be "Speak to Crewman Conner" or something along those lines is labeled "Check the Inhibitor".
-All the injured NPC's are labeled "UGC Contact" consider naming them. Also one of them is standing on a plant.
-Doctor Jones is also labeled as "UGC Contact".
-The Marine to be examined is the one standing on the plant. Consider placing a smaller object on the ground next to him to trigger the examination. In addition change the "Interact" button to read "Examine Marine" or something along those lines.
-Who is the NPC that warned of the Klingons entering orbit?
-You should consider spreading the fighting among the other tasks to mix it up a bit more.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission. I look forward to playing and reviewing part 2.
Brian

This critique report also filed 01/09/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.