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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 7
01-10-2012, 04:03 PM
Captain's Log

Due to an unfortunate and unforeseen error with the Universal Translator, we're kinda screwed. What started as a routine charting mission in Defera Space has quickly dissolved what I can only accurately describe as an utter disaster. On only our second day out from the nearest Starbase, we encountered a lone Breen cruiser, the kind we've routinely crushed with nary a thought or ounce of effort dozens of times in the past. No one was worried. And besides, their ship had apparently suffered moderate damage.

We were hailed when we came out of warp. They informed us that they were part of a separatist movement from a fringe colony. Though not interested in any sort of relationship with the Federation, they desperately sought asylum.

It was at this moment I first realized something was amiss. I informed the commanding officer that we would gladly escort them back to nearest station, and even offered a small repair crew to aid them with their "borrowed" cruiser. Rather than react with the expected reserved gratitude, the leader behaved as though I had offended him. My fears were confirmed when he responded angrily about not tolerating such insults to his mother and sister, and that he would take pleasure in using "that same horse" to perform indecent acts upon myself and my crew. Needless to say, we were all very confused. Except my newest bridge officer, Ensign Gorfug, who seemed incredibly amused by all this.

The details of the following exchange are in my full report. The gist of it being, after insinuating my father smelled of elderberries, they opened fire. The damage is truly frightening. Holodecks are down, The Alpha Section's replicator network is fried, the MVAM docking systems are fused, two of our three warp cores had to be ejected, and the third warp core had to taken offline to prevent plasma from flooding the deck. Three of the nacelles are basically gone anyway, so even if we do get the tertiary warp drive functional again, we're still not going anywhere.

However, there is a bright side to all this. Despite my quarters taking a direct hit and now being half exposed to empty space, my Emergency Vulcan Love Slave Hologram (EVLSH) survived. It may be a week before we're found, but it won't be a lonely week. For me, at least.


Shortly after recording the previous entry, our extensive witch hunt- I mean, um, investigation, has found Ensign Gorfug guilty of tampering with the UT. He was tried by a jury of his peers, sentenced in the way traditional to the Federation, and summarily demoted straight out the air lock.