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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 13
02-17-2012, 03:05 AM
Admiral Berryshine Punch's log, stardate ... not sure. Apparently the Ferengi make you pay for finding that sort of thing out, and I'm out of latinum.
Still, the fact that you can pay some Ferengi to do just about anything comes in handy sometimes, but I'd better start at the beginning, just in case this plan doesn't work. Hopefully the Romulans who'll kill me if this goes wrong will find this and pass it along to Starfleet. If we're not at war by then.

The Harmony was at Deep Space Seven the last time I saw her, and we were taking on medical supplies to deliver to some of the Romulan and Reman colonies in the area. I'd heard that one of the traders on the station had a small stock of very old, very good Andorian Ale so I had beamed over to get some. I was on my way back to the transporter room when the alarms sounded. According to station security, a Romulan warbird had decloaked and beamed soldiers onto the station and then ... nothing. It all went blank and when I got back up station security were shooting at me. The first shot hurt, but didn't seem to do much, so I knocked the rifle out of the officer's hands. That was when I noticed that my arm was rather big, green and scaly. I didn't have much time to think about though. Hearing someone order that phasers be set to kill tends to reorder your priorities a bit, especially when they start shooting at you.
Now, I've been in Starfleet a good while. Running away from people shooting at me isn't exactly new, but that time everything was all wrong. My balance had taken a trip to Risa, gotten drunk and ended up in the Delta Quadrant and my legs were just so heavy. Still, I managed to get far enough ahead of the security team to activate an emergency forcefield between us and take a good look at myself. I almost wish I hadn't, but it explained things. Some things, anyway.
I was a Gorn. A little taller than I am and a lot broader. That wasn't actually to bad, but when I recognized which Gorn I was, it got worrying. Naturally that was when the Romulans turned up, understandably eager to kill me.

After all, I looked just like the Gorn who had engineered and released an especially nasty disease on several of their colonies - the same ones that the Harmony was here to help. If the station security team hadn't broken past the forcefield, I probably would have been killed right there. As it is, I've got a nasty burn on my leg. Leaving the security team to distract the Romulans, I took off as well as I could manage. Did I mention that the burn hurts. Of course it does, it's a burn. They always hurt. A lot. For a very long time.

Anyway, I managed to get up to the docking section just in time to see the Harmony leave. Presumably with a Gorn war criminal pretending to be me on it, along with a cargo bay full of medical supplies for her to tamper with. The Romulans were out for blood - mine especially - and Starfleet would probably just hand me right over to them if they got hold of me, so turning myself in to security was out. Still, I had my bag, a brick of latinum and a bottle of vintage ch'Aniri Blue, and a station full of panicky people. I'm not sure whether he recognized me or not, but I managed to talk a Ferengi into taking me with him as he ran from the Romulans and, in return for the brick, catching the Harmony up and beaming me over. The Ferengi looks pretty hard up and this ship of his is tiny and badly maintained, so he must need the latinum quite badly. I'm not sure this tub can pull off a mid-warp transport, but there's not much choice here.
And since it's still three hours until we catch up to the Harmony, I'm going to drink this ale. I'm not entirely sure what it'll do to a Gorn body, but I'm not going to let it go to waste.

Admiral's log, stardate ... stop smirking, Commander. Yes, I can see you back there. Stop it.
Somehow, that little Ferengi ship managed to beam me over to the Harmony in one piece. Not that I got very far before a security team turned up. Considering how eager the station crew had been to get hold of me, I didn't try talking them down. And I was a little bit drunk.
Also, a note here. Security team on the Harmony need additional hand to hand combat training. Only Security Chief Takerra put up much of a fight. Not enough of one to stop me, but still a good effort. I managed to reach the cargo bay where the medical supplies were being kept and began scanning them to see if they had been contaminated. At this point, First Officer Nwusazsa and a second security team arrived. Commander Nwusazsa then reminded me that she is Betazoid and, thus, a telepath. Noticing a change in my behaviour when 'I' returned from DS7 - including the lack of the Andorian Ale I had gone over there to acquire - she had taken a look at the imposter's mind. After a brief struggle, they had managed to take her into custody, and had been about to return to DS7 when I arrived. The threat of being turned over to the Romulans was sufficient to persuade the Gorn to reveal how to reverse the process she had used to assume control over my body, but it appears that during the initial struggle Commander Takerra had permanently injured my left eye. This may be why I'm not especially upset that I broke her arm during our struggle when I boarded the Harmony. Also, while Commander Nwusazsa stated that she would not hand the prisoner over to the Romulans, I made no such agreement, and the Romulans have promised a fair trial. Also, this act may help stabilize relations in the region We have agreed to meet the RIW D'Verian at DS7. Unfortunately the Gorn had sufficient time to contaminate the medical supplies with an enhanced, even more virulent, version of the original disease and we will need to replace the entire shipment. And I'll have to get used to having one eye. Chief Engineer Kover has suggested a Chang-Riverna eyepatch instead of a standard ocular implant. Apparently it will provide the same vision but is more durable and easier to repair.