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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 5
02-20-2012, 05:45 PM
Thank you very much for the feedback!

Fixed up a few things based on that:

- Replaced the "Continue" with "..."

- The rock on the beam out point was supposed to be a block. I took it out completely, let the player end the mission badly if he likes. While there, did you get the perfect outcome? If I count correctly, there are ~34 different debriefing outcomes including 2 perfect ones. I think there is one goal which is not really evident.

- Fixed the ground/space BOFF mixup.

- Extra empty lines inserted here and there.

- OOC added to the description

- The "Nickname" was changed to "Captain". The original used nicknames at those points, but I figured that it is kinda out of place.

- Actually the "It was a near thing, but he will live" is one of the few lines I didn't alter at all from the original text. I changed it now.

- Changed the manifest thing to spell out that it is the mission specific inventory and added a hint how to use it. This way you can keep track of the stuff you "collected". At first it was empty, of course, but as you pick up or use up things, the manifest changes.

- The cave scene implied that you are done. However, that is not the case. You may do the various optionals afterward, too, if you wish. Changed the text a little bit to reflect that.