Things Captain Ratika is Not Allowed to Do
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Join Date: Dec 2007
03-01-2012, 02:49 PM
213). I may not paint my shuttlecrafts and try to form them up 'like Voltron'.
214). Calling any Orion male a 'Jolly Green Giant' is strictly forbidden. So too is singing, whistling or humming that old commercial jingle in their presence.
215). I am no longer allowed to ask Starfleet Requisitions to substitute my shuttlecrafts for ANY form of mecha or battlesuit.
216). Galors are not 'Yellow Submarines' and I should not try to broadcast that song at any serving Detapa Councel vessel.
217). I should start my language lessons with how to pronounce a proper greeting or name introduction.... not 'how to swear' in various alien languages.
218). I should stop requesting AK-47's, no matter how much more effective they are (in theory) against the Borg.
219). I will not ask anyone if their pet Mugato is their 'forest bride'.
220). My pets may not be designated as 'dependents'.
221). Nobody on my crew wants to 'go Gangsta', least of all me.
222). No sentient hologram android is my 'Artificial Brother'.
223). I am never allowed to visit a changeling while bringing a giant novelty straw.
224). Poetry recital night and classical music concerts at Ten Forward are not 'for tea sipping wussies'.
225). Nickleback playing sonic grenades are banned by the Khitomer Accords for a reason, so I must stop using them.
226). It is not OK to ask the Liberated Borg if they use 110v or 220v.
227). I am never allowed to join a Quad of any kind. Ever.
228). The tribble is not 'the other white meat' and I should stop trying to advocate that kind of use for them.
229). Placing a piece of dilithium in my underwear will not make it 'bigger' for the reason I think.
230). I will not teach my Sehlat to go into an attack frenzy every time he sees Fleet Admiral pips.
231). 'Keep Calm and Chive On' is not a proper way to address my superior officer after a disciplinary hearing.