Things Captain Ratika is Not Allowed to Do
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Join Date: Dec 2007
03-01-2012, 04:02 PM
214) If an alien species has no concept of greed, love, competition, gender, discrimination, violence, or lying, I am not allowed to introduce them myself. That's what the computer is for.
215) I am not allowed to alter the computer without clearance from Starfleet.
216) I am not allowed to encourage racism against any race, even if it creates a common ground for diplomatic relations.
217) I am not allowed to give megalomaniacal masterminds pointers on making their plans a success.
218) "Dangerous in the wrong hands" refers to me, at all times.
219) My entire crew turning to look at me when that phrase is uttered is not grounds for a charge of insubordination.
220) I am not allowed to install self-replicating cloaked mines outside starfleet headquarters.
221) Just because I can increase the power output of a weapon, doesn't mean I should.
222) I am not allowed to point out the flaws in the psychopath's weapon schematics if doing so would cause it to work as he/she intends.
223) Assuming all Joined Trill swing both ways is wrong.
224) I will not send the Ferengi in first.
225) I am not allowed to replace a Jem'Hadar's Ketracel White with coconut juice.
226) I am to stop asking Cadets to "Take me to your Leader" in a monotone voice whenever I visit Starfleet Academy.
227) What happens on Risa, stays on Risa.
228) I am not allowed on Risa without supervision anymore.
229) Puppet shows are not the proper way to begin diplomatic talks.
230) I am now required to hand over my Kits and Devices before using the restroom.
231) My personal self-destruct code for my ship has been disabled.
232) Threatening to hold my breath until both sides agree is not a viable diplomatic maneuver.
233) Just because "The Captain goes down with his ship", does not mean I can immediately field promote a duty officer to Captain as I run to the escape pod.
234) I am not allowed to abandon ship. If the only possible solutions are pulling a victory from the jaws of defeat and dying in a fiery explosion, Starfleet has determined that it is a no-lose scenario.