Things Captain Ratika is Not Allowed to Do
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Join Date: Dec 2007
03-05-2012, 06:27 PM
283) If it makes an Admiral nervous, I'm not allowed to suggest it.
284) "Starfleet Intelligence" is not an oxymoron and I should stop suggesting as such.
285) I am no longer allowed to list possible scenarios for escaping Federation prisons on open comm channels or in crowded bars.
286) I do not have a concealed carry permit for a phaser, so I should stop hiding them in places no one except my doctor has gone before without a night of romance and/or a few drinks.
287) Even if it's possible, I am not allowed to become my own grandparent.
288) Time travel vasectomies are not a diplomatic solution to anything.
289) I am not permitted to address time travel missions as "Retcons" in my logs.
290) Borg drones are not good pets.
291) Neither are Talaxians.
292) While "By the Prophets!" is a perfectly acceptable swear in a bad situation, "Q help us!" is not, as there's a chance he might actually show up and make things worse.
293) Kicking Q in the family jewels is not a solution to anything.
294) I am not allowed to shave my head and pretend to be a Deltan.
295) Pretending to be a Bynar using the holo emitters is not a good idea.
296) There are no Space Elves or Space Gnomes, and I should stop saying they fixed my boots and stole my underwear.
297) Moreover, I should stop using them as an excuse for why my crewmates' underwear is suddenly in my room.