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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirkfat View Post
OK, I'll submit my third mission for review.

It's called "Slave and Seductions." I'm pretty sure it's lower level mobs.
Federation Mission - Slaves and Seductions
Author: kirkfat
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HIQ8NZWHB

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This mission is outstanding from the map design through the detailed dialogue and onto the great battles. Your execution of effects, interaction animations, battles and mission objectives is great. I really enjoyed the mission from start to finish. It was a veritable rollercoaster ride with twists and turns in the story that kept me riveted to my seat. Despite the long day Iíve had today I wanted to press on and see what would happen next. I would highly recommend this mission to anyone who loves great map design combined with good battles and excellent story dialogue.

Below are three things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a very simple but intriguing description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is an excellent grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good task with the location of the mission start clearly indicated. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: Cryptic map usage. Good use of the prompt.

MAPS:
Drozana System (Cryptic map): This is a good use of the Cryptic map. There was no mission specific dialogue on this map.

Drozana Station (Cryptic map): This is a great use of the Cryptic map. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the use of map elements. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

Ready Room: This is a good map design. I only wish there were no issues with exiting from the Ready Room for the Foundry maps. Is this an issue with all Bridge maps? The story dialogue is outstanding. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Kassae IV: This is a great map design with a good battle. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Engineering BOFF dialogue; consider changing "Bird of Prey's" to read "Klingon shuttle".

Sickbay: This is a good map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The turbolift entrance appears to be a little high. It caught my eye while I was turning to talk to the Orion.

Guest Quarters: This is a good map design. I understand the reason for the light adjustment as it adds to the effect of the remaining dialogue. The story dialogue is excellent. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the dialogue "[FirstName], It surprises me" to read "[FirstName], it surprises me".

Servrona System: This is a good map design with a nice battle. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Deck 9: This is an interesting map design. I like the effects you used. The dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Deck 9#2: This is an outstanding map design with good tough battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Horktham Prime: This is a great map design with good battles to wrap up the story. The story dialogue is outstanding. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. Your work on this mission is simply outstanding. I look forward to more of your missions in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 03/10/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.