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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdmiralMurphy
Been checking out your reviews and I've enjoyed reading them! Keep up the great work!

If you could do a review of my latest series, "Terror Knocks at the Door" that would be great. It's a four part series, and I believe you need to be lvl 46 or higher. My @name is @AdmiralMurphy, and I would get you the code # if I could but I can't at this time.

Name: Terror Knocks at the Door 1/4
Author: Admiral Murphy
lvl: 46
Time: 45 mins -60, about your length of an FE.
Faction: Federation
Federation Mission - Terror Knocks at the Door Part 1
Author: AdmiralMurphy
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HNB3SM8P5

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission with good map design, great dialogue, well designed maps and fun battles. I would recommend this mission to all players who like those elements in a mission.

I noted the use of the response button “Continue” on several dialogue windows. From my point of view it seems a little out of place, especially when being used by the player in response to a BOFF report. For me I use these points to further draw the player in and make them a part of the story. It’s not a huge issue but one I felt needed to be pointed out. However, in the end it is your story to tell and your decision on how to tell it.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a nice short description, but perhaps a little too short. Consider adding a little more story and intrigue to draw the player in. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue itself is well written, however the additional dialogue, in particular the "Please Note" might better serve its purpose in the description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good use of the mission task with a clear location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Operations: This is a nice map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue” for the “Commander Dall” dialogue seemed a little out of place. Consider changing it to “Acknowledged” or something along those lines.

Frontier System: This is a good map design with a couple of good battles to keep it interesting. The story dialogue is well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue” in general seems out of place in most circumstances but in response to a BOFF report seems way out of place. Consider changing it to an acknowledgement of the report.

Frontier Colony: This is a good map design with several good battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”. I will cover this in more detail in my summary.
-The “T’prel” dialogue; the NPC tells the player to travel south through the swamp but the map indicates we should head north of the current position.

Swamp: This is an interesting map design. The battles are good. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.
-With the battles at the end you should consider removing the note advising the player to leave the BOFF’s behind.
-Consider making the search location apparent on the map for the initial search.

Frontier System#2: This is a good map design with a nice battle and story dialogue to wrap up this mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with the mission design from the maps to the writing and battles. I look forward to playing/reviewing the remaining missions in the series.
Brian

This critique report also filed 04/05/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.