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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdmiralMurphy
Been checking out your reviews and I've enjoyed reading them! Keep up the great work!

If you could do a review of my latest series, "Terror Knocks at the Door" that would be great. It's a four part series, and I believe you need to be lvl 46 or higher. My @name is @AdmiralMurphy, and I would get you the code # if I could but I can't at this time.

Name:Terror Knocks at the Door 2/4
Author: Admiral Murphy
lvl: 46
Time: 45 mins -60, about your length of an FE.
Faction: Federation
Federation Mission - Terror Knocks at the Door Part 2
Author: AdmiralMurphy
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HPAEEUV5J

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission and sequel in the series. The map design is well done with tough, but fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written and intriguing. I would highly recommend this mission to anyone who loves good map design, tough battles, and a good story. If that sounds like you then you want to play this mission and the series.

Some of the spawn points and map usage needs a little work. For example it seemed that the “Frontier Colony#3” and “Swamp Land” maps could have been combined into one map by using the area you send the player to trigger the map transition from the “Frontier Colony#3” map to the “Swamp Land” map. It seemed as if both map elements could have been combined into the one map, which saves map transfers for the player.

I mention the spawn point on a couple of the maps. Consider moving the spawn point on the “Frontier Colony#3” and “Frontier Colony#4” maps closer to the initial mission tasks for those maps. For the “Frontier Colony#3” map it would make more sense to place the player closer to the scientist since the lab equipment was also beamed down to her location. For the “Frontier Colony#4” it would place the player much closer to the action and remove the need to run half way across the map.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a nice short description. Consider adding a little more story and intrigue to draw the player in. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue needs additional dialogue in a similar way as I describe for the description. The post "Accept" dialogue is very well written; however consider changing the response button "Continue" to something more in line with the dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with prompt.

MAPS:
Medical Wing 2: This is a good map design with some nice tasks. I like the conversation with the patient. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.

Frontier Colony#2: This is a good map design. The story dialogue is short but well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding the other colonists dialogue to a general mission task designed to help the colonists.
-The "Rilinka" dialogue; consider changing the response button "Alright, we're handle it" to read "Alright, we'll handle it".

Orbital Laboratory: This is a good map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.
-Consider adding more debris in the passageway leading to the cargo bay.

Frontier Colony#3: The map design is good. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.

Swamp Lands: Overall it is a good map design but it almost feels as if it could have been combined with the “Frontier Colony#3” map. The story dialogue is well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.

Cave System: This is a good map design with some nice battles. The story dialogue is very intriguing and well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.
-Consider placing the “Access Main Computer” console on the platform so when the player goes up on the platform it is clearly visible.

Cave System Level 2: This is a great map design with some tough, but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written.
-Consider placing some canister type object or something along those lines when the player places a charge.

Frontier Colony#4: This is a good map design with some tough, but fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider moving the initial spawn point for this map closer to the colony.
-Consider making the swarms separate tasks that trigger when the player arrives at the next fight location. There is a couple of the battles that were over before I got there and one where the support troops were wiped out before I got there.
-The use of the response button “Continue”.
-The "Summergale" dialogue; consider changing "Know we know why the Undine targeted us" to read "Now we know why the Undine targeted us".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission sequel in the series. I look forward to playing/reviewing the next mission in the series.
Brian

This critique report also filed 04/06/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.