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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdmiralMurphy
Been checking out your reviews and I've enjoyed reading them! Keep up the great work!

If you could do a review of my latest series, "Terror Knocks at the Door" that would be great. It's a four part series, and I believe you need to be lvl 46 or higher. My @name is @AdmiralMurphy, and I would get you the code # if I could but I can't at this time.

Name: Terror Knocks at the Door 3/4
Author: Admiral Murphy
lvl: 46
Time: 45 mins -60, about your length of an FE.
Faction: Federation
Federation Mission - Terror Knocks at the Door Part 3
Author: AdmiralMurphy
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HFLNQ4TGO

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission and sequel in the series. The map design is excellent with tough, but fun battles throughout. The story dialogue is good and very detailed. If you like a great story combined with excellent map design and tough battles then I would highly recommend this mission and the series.

On the “Frontier Colony#3” map I mention the use of triggered optional dialogue. This gives the player a trigger, when they approach an NPC rather than standard dialogue interact symbols that remain even after the player has read them. This can be done with triggers on the map that pop up when the player gets near the NPC. The player can choose to talk to the colonist or not. If they choose to the option would go away after it is read by the player. I’ve seen it used in other mission and have used it myself. It really gives the author a lot of flexibility to give alternate dialogue as well as more depth to the story.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a nice short description. As with the other two missions, consider adding a little more story and intrigue to draw the player in. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue needs additional dialogue in a similar way as I describe for the description. The post "Accept" dialogue is very well written; however consider changing the response button "Continue" to something more in line with the dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial mission task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Frontier System: This is a good map design with a good battle. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.
-Consider moving the spawn point closer to the battle. It felt like there was no need to have to fly half way across the map to get into the fight.

Dominion Outpost: This is a great map design with tough, but fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.
-Consider moving the spawn point closer to the initial objectives.

Dominion Base: This is a great map design with tough, but fun battles. The story dialogue was well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.

Dominion Outpost#2: This is a good map design with a very tough battle. The story dialogue is very well written and intriguing. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The USS Atlanitca was destroyed by the Undine ships before I could even engage. Consider adding additional friendly ships, or move the spawn point closer to the fight, or tone down the bad guys.
-The use of the response button “Continue”.

Frontier Colony#3: This is a nice map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.
-Consider changing all of the NPC optional dialogue that acts as filler to the story to triggered dialogue that is completed once the player interacts with the NPC.

T’prel’s Office: This is a great map design. The story dialogue is very well written and detailed. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.
-The "Search Main Computer" dialogue; consider changing: "Just something I learned a while ago into bypassing a security code like this" to read "Just something I learned a while ago to bypass a security code like this".
-The "Personal Logs" dialogue; consider changing "She never made a log about" to read "She never made an entry about".

Frontier System#2: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission sequel and the series so far. I am looking forward to playing/reviewing part 4 next.
Brian

This critique report also filed 04/06/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.