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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdmiralMurphy
Been checking out your reviews and I've enjoyed reading them! Keep up the great work!

If you could do a review of my latest series, "Terror Knocks at the Door" that would be great. It's a four part series, and I believe you need to be lvl 46 or higher. My @name is @AdmiralMurphy, and I would get you the code # if I could but I can't at this time.

Name: Terror Knocks at the Door 4/4
Author: Admiral Murphy
lvl: 46
Time: 45 mins -60, about your length of an FE.
Faction: Federation
Federation Mission - Terror Knocks at the Door Part 4
Author: AdmiralMurphy
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HDH9LI3Z3

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission and wrap up to the series. The map design was good with lots of tough battles. The story dialogue was very well written. I would highly recommend this mission and the entire series to all players who like good map design combined with lots of tough battles and good story dialogue.

I noted on some of the maps towards the end some of the fighting either seemed to be done before the player could engage or on the “Frontier System” map the player is completely out gunned. It occurred to me that this map was intended to have support vessels present and they were destroyed before the player even materialized or finished reading the initial dialogue. This is still a great mission and series, but I thought you might want to balance that last fight a little more.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a nice short description. As with the other three missions, consider adding a little more story and intrigue to draw the player in. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue needs additional dialogue in a similar way as I describe for the description. The post "Accept" dialogue is a nice recap of the previous mission and a good preview of what is to come. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial mission task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Fluidic Space: This is a good map design with optional engagements all around. The design and location of those engagements is very well done and yes you can avoid them if you pay attention to where you are going. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.
-The "Player" dialogue; consider changing "There are dozens of Starfleet Officers that need" to read "There are dozens of Starfleet personnel that need". This is a minor story point, but there would be both Officers and Enlisted personnel that run a starship ship.
-Consider ending the “Player” dialogue with the “Understood” dialogue in the response button.

Earth Space Dock Replica: This is a really good map design with a lot of tough, but fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written.
-The use of the response button “Continue”.
-Post "Talk with Commander Dall" there is another "Talk to Commander Dall" button that comes up. It seems odd and based on the rest of the map tasks seems to not be needed.
-The "Hannah" dialogue; consider changing "From one thing I don't like" to read "For one thing I don't like".
-Consider changing "possible chance in alerting Starfleet to who" to read "possible chance of alerting Starfleet who".
-The "Commander Jeral" dialogue; consider changing "will take notice to you setting up" to read "will take notice of you setting up".
-The last pattern enhancer is buried in the deck.

Earth Space Dock Replica#2: This is a good map design with more than enough tough battles to satisfy the most diehard player. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.
-The pattern enhancer is buried in the deck.

Earth Space Dock Replica#3: This is a good map design with very intense battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.

U.S.S. Atlantica: This is a nice map design with good dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The spawn point seems to be too close to a bulkhead, which causes the rest of the away team to spawn in the middle of the bridge.
-The use of the response button “Continue”.

Fluidic Space#2: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.

Frontier System: This is an interesting map design with very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue”.
-Plot point, there were no other friendly ships present during the battle with the “Tag Alongs”, yet the “Dominion NPC” thanked me for my assistance. Also the “Commander Dall” dialogue seems out of place since there is no USS Atlantica present either.

Frontier Colony#3: This is a good map and a nice wrap to the mission and series. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job on this mission and the entire series. It is riveting from start to finish. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 04/07/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.