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Join Date: Dec 2007
Mission Critique Report - Hunter/Killer: Part 1/5
06-09-2012, 08:24 AM
Originally Posted by
I have two missions for you
Hunter/Killer: Part 1/5
Level Requirement: 31+
Hunter Killer Group 3 - Kahless, was charged with finding and destroying prototype and high-importance federation ships.
Part 2: In the eyes of the Federation
Part 3: Klingon
Part 4: Federation
Part 5: Klingon
Klingon Mission - Hunter/Killer: Part 1/5
Project ID: ST-HMXO6LJ7U
This is a good, short mission with some nicely balanced, glorious battles and well written dialogue. The way you put together the story was just enough to drive the combat portion forward without being intrusive. On your Federation mission I reviewed earlier this is what I meant by finding the balance between too short and too long for a combat oriented mission. I would recommend this mission to all players who like short, battle oriented missions. You will definitely enjoy this mission.
A quick note about the “Authors Note” you have in the grant dialogue. First of all the mission is as good if not better than some other Klingon missions I’ve played. Second, the note itself tells the player they shouldn’t bother to play because you do not know how to create a Klingon mission which is entirely not true. Sure some of the dialogue might need a little tweaking here and there to make it a little more Klingon oriented but it is still good. In short, don’t discount your skills as an author; you just need a little more confidence in your skills. Read the dialogue out loud and see if it sounds like something Worf would say.
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
This description needs a little more to draw the player in and make them want to click that "Hail" button.
Grant Mission Dialogue:
The "Incoming hail" is a nice way to get the player to click the "Accept" button; however most players will not without a little more story indicating what they are about to get into. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider removing the "Authors Note" as it is self defeating. With a note like that you are basically telling the player not to play your mission.
-The follow on dialogue needs a little more story to it and the response button should be something other than "Continue", perhaps "For the Empire" or something along those lines.
Mission Task: This is a good initial task but consider adding the sector block to the task to help the player find your start location.
Mission Entry Prompt:
This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
This is a good map design with balanced battles and nice short dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Post “defeat True Way Reinforcements” dialogue; consider changing "The have cloaked" to read "They have cloaked".
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
This critique report also filed 06/08/2012 on forum posting for:
In depth mission reports upon request