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Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 803
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCC-89471 View Post
O Evil One, I humbly request that you review the fourth installment of my epic "Ghosts of War" series.

Mission Name: Ghosts of War, Part IV
Author: paxfederatica, formerly known as the author NCC-89471
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Starfleet
ST-HFDLKG5XV
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post
Federation Mission - Ghosts of War, Part IV
Author: NCC-89471
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HFDLKG5XV

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission sequel in the series. The map design is great with tough, but fun battles that should be used as the example of how to build battles for the community. Your story dialogue was flawless; I do not think I found a single spelling or grammatical error. I would highly recommend this mission and the entire series leading up to this one. I noted your use of "Continue" as a response button was appropriate to the dialogue and not over used.

Below are just a couple of items I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. Consider changing the note at the bottom to [OOC] dialogue to make it stand out from the rest of the description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: The initial task gives the general location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is an excellent use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
1: DS9 Promenade (Interior): This is a great map design with excellent dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider consolidating all console interacts into one location rather than having the player change consoles.

2: DS9 Cargo Bay (Interior): This is a good map design with excellent dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple items to consider changing:
-Consider consolidating all console interacts into one location rather than having the player change consoles.
-The map transfer dialogue NPC is my ships science BOFF, but the dialogue is from Admiral Youngs. I believe this is a limitation of the Foundry when using author generated NPC?s, but I thought I?d point that out.

3: Celtris III (Space - Portal Inactive): This is a great map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Be careful about the dialogue triggers. Many players, including myself, disable the ?Stop moving during dialogue? feature in the game and may fly past the scan point. I usually will stop the ship manually to read dialogue, but that is because I am reviewing it.

4: Celtris III (Caves - Upper Level): This is a great map design with some fun diversionary battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

5: Celtris III (Caves - Lower Level): The map design is excellent with tough, but fun battles and great story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

6: Celtris III (Caves - Phase-shifted Lower Level): This is a great map design with several tough, but fun battles. The story dialogue is excellent. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

7: Celtris III (Phase-shifted Space): The map design is excellent with good battles and outstanding story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

8: Celtris III (Normal Space): This is a great map design with a good battle and excellent story wrap up dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and the entire series to this point. I am looking forward to reviewing the next episode in the series.
Brian

This critique report also filed 06/24/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".