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Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,512
# 81
06-27-2012, 02:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
Federation Mission - The Great Escape
Author: Zorbane
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HN57YTB7C

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission with excellent maps, several tough battles and outstanding story dialogue. The variety of the response buttons you used throughout the mission where very well done. I would highly recommend this mission to all players, just not on Elite. :smile:

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is an intriguing grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Outside the Sherman System: This is a great map design with very well written dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The "Captain of the Duthia" dialogue; consider changing "I got the famous [Rank] [NickName] to scan" to read "I got the famous [Rank] [LastName] to scan".

Koval - Deck 2: This is a great map design with excellent dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider using objects to trigger optional dialogue. This gives you the ability to have optional dialogue that goes away after it's been accessed by the player.

The Sewers: This is a great map design with some nice battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Factory: This is a great map design with some tough battles and good story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The console near the munitions store room is away from the bulkhead. Consider using small hidden objects in the consoles that are built into the map. This will allow you use consoles that are part of the map to trigger interactions.
-Consider using objects to trigger optional dialogue. This gives you the ability to have optional dialogue that goes away after it's been accessed by the player.

B'Rel - Deck 2: This is a great map design with tough battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

B'Rel - Bridge: This is an excellent map design with a very tough battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Otha System: This is a great map design with very tough battles and excellent story dialogue. It is a great wrap up for this mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it.

I'll start thinking about optional dialogue especially on the Koval

I have a question regarding the suggestion about using [NickName] vs [LastName].

I had used NickName because I wanted to make sure the player's "Display Name" for a lack of a better term was the one being used. For example if the player was human, the dialogue should be "Captain Picard" (Jean-Luc Picard) while if the player was Bajoran the dialogue would be "Colonel Kira" (Kira Nerys).

That was my reasoning for it anyways.

What showed up for you?