Character Feedback Request...
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Join Date: Jul 2012
09-20-2012, 06:58 AM
Originally Posted by
while most of it is great;
1. being directly linked to several officers from TNG and projects i felt was a bit hollow to the character, instead of having it entirely new.
2. this immortal status that has been granted, it should be immune to diseases instead or slightly better brain capacity, something that would make the character background a little more believable.
3. his sister killing herself, it never made sense to me that she would kill herself and perfectly good life over something like immortality.
however there is failure to mention that starfleet officers with illegal genetic modifications are withdrawn from service unless someone takes command of their well being. Bashir for instance was found out, but Sisko protected his rights in starfleet and him as a person otherwise he would of been booted out of starfleet.
Thanks for the feedback, it's much appreciated
When I first created the character, it was to be included in a DS-9 manuscript I planned on submitting nearly 18 years ago (but which eventually got sidelined) I wanted to create a character who would 'fit in' to the existing canon, but in a more subtle and 'behind the scenes' way (pretty much as they wound up doing with the awesome Elias Vaughn) and I figured an officer who spent as much time on intelligence missions or at a design commitee, would more likely to have at least 'been encountered' by the Usual Suspects, than simply being the Guest Captain. To be fair, much of the back story would never actually have been referenced, it was simply created so I 'had things straight' in my mind, the things which made him the man he is, etc
To address your other points...
1. Pretty much addressed above, but I must admit, I hadn't taken that perspective into account, so thanks for pointing it out as a character weakness rather than a strength
2. The immortal status was never medically granted. He is the same kind of immortal Human as in
. I simply provided a 24th Century reasoning that it could be medically identified prior to resurrection, even if the actual 'workings' were still not fully understood/guaranteable, hence the explanation that identified pre-immortals are not told that they could become immortal 'just in case' it didn't actually happen.
3. I always viewed her as having always been incredibly (maybe even unnaturally) close to her brother (possibly experiencing GSA as a result of the genetic re-sequencing) and wanting to be able to maintain that closeness when the 'carrot' of immortality was dangled in front of her. Equally used to highlight that the genetic sequence which
cause immortality is still not 100% understood or even guaranteed to kick in upon the first death, as well as providing not only another death for him to be angsty about, but one which would make him view his new-found immortality as a source of loss, rather than as potential...
4. Marcus Kane was not illegally genetically modified... According to MemoryAlpha:
"By the 24th century, the United Federation of Planets allowed limited use of genetic engineering to correct existing genetically-related medical conditions. Persons known to be genetically enhanced, however, were not allowed to serve in Starfleet, and were especially banned from practicing medicine. (TNG: "Genesis", DS9: "Doctor Bashir, I Presume")"
His sister, Alix, underwent in-utero genetic modification to repair accidental genetic damage occurring before birth, which swapped the gender of the embryo from male to female. But Marcus did not have anything done to him: He was always supposed to have become immortal, by virtue of inheriting the Lazarus gene, as would his sister. Had she not had to undergo the 'gender reassignment surgery' and been born as a brother instead of as a sister, she would have also potentially have become immortal upon death, which I think would be a very tempting proposition if it is plausibly within reach... I wanted the loss of his beloved sister make him resent his immortality, as it made him see it as something which would always cause him to lose evermore friends and loved ones.
Thanks again for your thoughts
Last edited by marcusdkane; 09-20-2012 at