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Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 480
# 13
10-19-2012, 05:44 PM
*Admiral Dmitry Leonov enters the bar. He orders a large Saurian Brandy then heads to the mantle and announces Punday Sunday! "I'll start", he says with a grin.

Humanity had been spreading out thru the galaxy for sometime but had not, as yet, encountered any other sapient lifeforms. Until an expedition to Epsilon Eridani. On a small, rocky but barely habitable planet the initial survey team discovered what appeared to be a giant statue of a humanoid, seated in a lotus position, it's eyes closed. Excited by this historic find they were shocked, when they began their research, to discover that the "statue" seemed to be alive. All instruments and scans showed life signs. Yet over the next 4 months not once was the thing observed to move in any way... neither to eat or drink or relieve itself. Even respiration was almost non-existent. Nothing the research team could do would elicit ANY response from the being.

Finally, in frustration, the lead researcher threw down his equipment and screamed at it, "How could nature POSSIBLY create such a useless thing? That neither eats nor sleeps, neither moves nor responds nor even appears to think at all!?"

Suddenly there was excitement and even panic as the creature seemed to stir. It slowly opened it's eyes and stood. 24 ft. tall it towered over the research team as it seemed to gaze out over the empty plain. After a few moments it spoke with a deep, rumbling voice like thunder... "IT COULDN'T!" It then slowly resumed it's seated position and closed it's eyes once more.

Everyone stood stunned. Suddenly the lead researcher slapped himself in the forehead and exclaimed, "Of COURSE! Why didn't I see this before?...
... It only stands to reason!"
ZOE: "Sir! You paid money for this?... on purpose??"

KIRK: "Excuse me... what does God need with a starship?"