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Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 792
Quote:
Originally Posted by captainrevo1 View Post
Hi

I have a new mission if you would care to play it;

Mission Name: The Emissary of the Pah-wraiths
Author: Captain_Revo
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HOOWTK7A8
Estimated Mission Length: 45 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

This is the continuation of the story from;

part 1 - The Worst of all Worlds
part 2 - Nine of Space Deep
part 3 - The Temple of the Pah-wraiths
Federation Mission - The Emissary of the Pah-wraiths
Author: Captain_Revo
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HOOWTK7A8

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a riveting mission from start to finish and a worthy sequel in the series. The map designs are great, the battles tough, but fun, and the story dialogue is excellent. I would highly recommend this mission and the entire series to all players.

Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. Consider moving the actual mission description up to be above the mission part listing. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a great grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Tiza System" to read "Tazi System".
-Consider changing "in orbit of Tiza II" to read "in orbit of Tazi II".

MAPS:
Tazi System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Research Station Gamma: This is a great map design with a good battle and excellent story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "It's jack" to read "Its Jack".

Tazi II: This is a good map design with a fun battle and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Dace System: This is a good map design with balanced battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

The Kinjer System: This is a good map design with a balanced battle and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The spawn point seems slightly off the initial location. I had to swing the ship around to trigger the initial dialogue and battle.

Transwarp Test Base Two: This is a great map design with challenging, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
-Consider making the dying and injured optional dialogue triggered so it disappears after the player interacts with it.
-The console for "Investigate Jack's Actions" appears to be too low in the deck. Consider moving it back and up slightly to place it on the deck.

Ready Room: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Sol System: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Earth Space Dock: This is a great map design with tough, but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider making optional dialogue triggered so it disappears after the player interacts with it.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission and the entire series to date. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 10/28/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".