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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,498
# 1080
11-01-2012, 10:12 PM
Here's just a hypothetical STF in the days immediately following S7:

I start a new CSE pug with four other people, and enter to realize they're all tacs except for one engineer and all are using the Vesta but me. So I say hi as usual and then the oddest thing happens: one Vesta stays at the Kang and the others almost coordinatedly fly each to one of the cubes. I head to the middle probes and start blasting away at them, as the rainbowskittle Vesta is doing almost nonexistant dps (not to mention he's shooting at a top probe with the bottom one still intact). I blow the one below him for amusement, and get it when it takes him two minutes to take down 50% of the probe's health. Meanwhile, I notice the optional has just failed five minutes into the STF and turn around to see the Kang swarmed and the three very colorful Vestas popping like popcorn... against BoPs. As I fly back there to try and save the Kang, I hear an explosion behind me and then see that the guy shooting the probes just got destroyed in three seconds by the Negh'var he spawned. He then says "what happened this ships supposed to be indestructable" and I facepalm.

So while these loonies are in respawn oblivion, I manage to clean up after them at the Kang. I fly off back to the middle probes and start destroying them as one person says "hey lets all guard kang". The four Vetsafails all join together at the Kang and I decide to have a little fun with them. I blow all the probes in the center then quickly run to the right and let the Negh'var fly to the Kang. As I'm destroying the right probes, I see wave after wave of BoP go past me, then all four of these guys' pictures on the team status go gray within a few seconds. I figure the Negh'vars must have chugged on over there and isometric charged them. I fly back to the Kang and again clean up the mess they left. One of them says "hey vaporak why dont you help out". I decided to 'help out'

First, I destroy all bottom probes on the left and right, then charge all my buffs for the top ones (you can see where this is going). In quick succession, I blow all six of the top probes, blow a cube, and let Raptors and Negh'vars swarm the Kang. These rainbow and skittle boats didn't stand a chance. They explode, the Kang's destroyed, and then the funniest line of the entire match...
"oh my gosh there must be a bug in these ships well just have to wait for cryptic to fix them in a patch"

I hope you enjoyed my theoretical post-S7 CSE story.