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Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 855
Quote:
Originally Posted by sfhq View Post
Hello evil70th,

I have completed 2 missions of a multi-part series, and would very much appreciate feedback when you have some time.

Mission Name: Mechanical Infestations(Pt. I)
Author: F9thSFHQ
Minimum Level: 50
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HSOFQFFC4
Estimated Mission Length: 45 minutes to 1hour15mins depending on career/difficulty
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

Both are relatively combat heavy missions with medium amt. of dialogue

Thanks,
SFHQ
Federation Mission - Mechanical Infestations(Pt. I)
Author: F9thSFHQ
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HSOFQFFC4

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good battle oriented mission. The map designs are good and the battles are very tough. The story dialogue is well written but not the main point to the mission. I would recommend this mission to all players with the understanding that it is a battle oriented mission. If like missions that have several tough battles then you will love this mission, however I would not recommend this mission on Elite.

Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good and detailed description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Command Ship right out of the noses of the Borg" to read "Command Ship right out from under the noses of the Borg".

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue needs to be story oriented to draw the player in and make them want to click "Accept". Consider changing the current grant dialogue to be part of the story rather than a report of data obtained in the previous mission.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Undine Blockade - Grid 10: This is a good map design with tough battles but those are avoidable if you go around them and pass close to the planet. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Outer Perimeter - Grid 10: This is a good map design with a well written story. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Support Station 229: This is a good map design with tough battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Regeneration Matrix: This is a nice map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding barriers around the edges to prevent the player from falling off. Telling the player they will have to start over if they fall off is not a good way of getting players to continue your missions.

Regeneration Matrix - Inward Mind: This is a good map design with a tough battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Support Station 229: This map does not seem to be needed since it basically consists of one dialogue box followed by a map transition. I understand the story you are trying to tell with this map but since the Foundry and the game do not allow you to re-skin the player it feels like an unneeded map transition. Consider adding the short dialogue to the end of the previous map and transition the player to the next map from there.

Outer Perimeter - Grid 10#2: This is a nice map design with well written, albeit short dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Sector 2083 Grid 12: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Sector 1192: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this combat oriented mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".