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Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
Quote:
Originally Posted by logitech007 View Post
Hey Evil70th, i have 2 new missions that i would liked to be reviewed by you, since the last 2 missions were reviewed by you i have spent extra time on spelling and grammar so i hope its not that bad this time around, but i might have missed here and there.

Thanks for taking your time to review my parts 3 and 4.
Logitech007

Mission Name: Tempus fugit: De Road Domus Part three
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Starfleet
Project ID: ST-ST-HD4BEXZRY
Estimated Mission Length: App hour or so
Method of Report Delivery: Both


Mission Name: Tempus fugit: Domus Part 4
Author: Logitech007
Minimum Level: any
Allegiance: Starfleet
Project ID: ST-HJ7DUB9SI
Estimated Mission Length: App 30 or so min
Method of Report Delivery: Both

Thanks for taking the time to play and i look forward to your feedback.

Thanks
Logitech007
Federation Mission - Tempus fugit: Domus Part 4
Author: Logitech007
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HJ7DUB9SI

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good battle oriented mission with good map design and some good story dialogue to keep the mission moving forward. I would recommend this mission to other players who like that kind of mission.

I noted on several of the maps that the enemy mobs seemed way out gunned by friendly forces, so much so that I virtually did not have to engage enemy mobs. Battle balancing is one of the hardest things to do when authoring a mission. If you make it too hard then the players will not enjoy it, and the same is true if you make it too easy. You need to find the right balance. Try to make the support vessels and enemy vessels match in strength and type. Then the player will be the deciding factor in the battle. I realize this is not easy to do, so good luck.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The dialogue is intriguing. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "will you be able to make to the vortex" to read "will you be able to reach the vortex".
-Consider changing "One member of the crew will pay the ultimate sacrifice to try to get the crew home" to read "One member of the crew will make the ultimate sacrifice to get the rest home".

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: The usage of the prompt is okay. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
AR-558: This is a nice map design with a simple battle and well written dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the response button "Let's not give us a chance too" to read "Let's not give them the chance too".

Chin'Toka IV: This is a good map design with a good battle and some story dialogue to drive the mission forward. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the battle balance to be just a little tougher. The friendly forces almost wiped out the enemy mobs with very little assistance from me.

Chin'Toka II/ Chin'Toka III: This is a good map design with a couple of good battles and some story dialogue to drive the mission forward. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the battle balance to be just a little tougher. The friendly forces pretty much wiped out the enemy mobs with virtually no assistance from me.
-Consider changing "We are coming towards Chin'Toga" to read "We are approaching Chin'Toka". This is based on the map name you give to the next map.

Chin'Toka: This is a nice map design with a good battle and some story dialogue to move the mission forward. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-I noted the task on this map says "Scan the Chin'Toga area" but the map name is "Chin'Toka". That is why I made the note above regarding Chin'Toga.
-Consider changing the battle balance to be just a little tougher. The friendly forces pretty much wiped out the enemy mobs with no assistance from me.
-Consider changing the map transfer dialogue "[Rank], we are coming towards the vortex" to read "[Rank], we are approaching the vortex".

Chin'Toka: This is a good map design with some nice optional battles and well written story dialogue to move the mission forward. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the response button "Sorry, i can not spare anyone right now; just do the best you can" to read "Sorry, I cannot spare anyone right now; just do the best you can".
-Consider changing the Lukeson dialogue; "[Rank], i can quickly help them out" to read "[Rank], I can quickly help them out".

Deep Space: This is a nice map design with well written dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the initial dialogue; "[Rank], i think we did it" to read "[Rank], I think we did it".
-Consider changing the Engineer dialogue; "[Rank], i have good news and bad news" to read "[Rank], I have good news and bad news".

Deck Six: This is a very nicely done map with good mission and series wrap up dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing in several places:
-There are seven places in the player's dialogue to Lukeson's casket that you use "i" vice "I". Consider changing those to "I".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. This is a good mission and a nice wrap up to the series. Your technique is definitely improving. Keep up the good work.
Brian

This critique report also filed 12/22/2012 on forum posting for: Logitech007's 2 new missions
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.