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Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
Quote:
Originally Posted by diogene0 View Post
Hey Evil70th, I hope you're doing well.

I'd like you to review a mission I've completely revamped. You have already reviewed it but i've made many changes (i removed maps, npcs, added some dialogs, and I did a lot of polishing). If you don't review missions twice then it's not a problem to me. My original goal was to offer an adventure, but it was way too long and tortuous. It should be a lot closer to my purpose like that.


Mission name: Gunboat diplomacy (formerly known as "The heart of your enemy").
Author: diogene0
Mission lengh: 45 minutes at most.
Faction: KDF
Minimul level: 16+
Project ID: ST-HFDC324BE
Method of Report Delivery: forum post please.

Thanks for your help, as always!
Klingon Mission - Gunboat diplomacy
Author: diogene0
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HFDC324BE

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a fun combat oriented mission with just enough well written story dialogue to keep the mission moving forward. The map designs are great, the battles are glorious, and the story dialogue is very well written. I would recommend this mission to other players seeking glorious battles with a good story.

This is a nice re-write of the previous "The heart of your enemy" mission. There are a few references in the revised mission that refer to elements that no longer exist and need to be fixed. They are noted below and are yoursto do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description with an intriguing plot. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the entry prompt. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The entry prompt states Begin "the heart of your enemy" yet the mission is titled "Gunboat diplomacy".

MAPS:
Deep into unknown space: This is a good map design with several glorious battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Bridge of the heavy civilian transport: This is a good map design with some glorious battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Ten minutes later: This is a nice map design with well written dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Deep into the transport ship: This is a good map design with several glorious battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Seedea III Orbit: This is a good map design with several glorious battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Seedea III shipyard: This is a good map design with several glorious battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Holodeck of the main city of Seedea III: This is a good map design with a glorious battle of demons and well written story dialogue. It is a good wrap up to the mission. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The end of mission transmission references "Romulans" that never appeared in any combat or on any map in this mission. Consider removing this reference in all dialogue.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job redeveloping this combat oriented mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".