Literary Challenge #35 : New Year's Resolutions
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Join Date: Oct 2012
12-28-2012, 02:39 PM
"New Year's Eve, and where am I? Stuck on some forsaken station in the middle of nowhere!"
"Yes, we know," sighed her Andorian companion R'shee. "You've said so several times already."
"Really? Huh." Captain Mazoo was past the point of recall.
"You are in the finest bar and grill this side of Vulcan!" said the kindly older Ferengi host. "Deep Space Nine may not be the most glamorous posting, but Quark's is the best place to be, any holiday, I assure you."
Mazoo ignored him, and continued on her rant. "First I miss Ecks-mas, stuck in the Gamma Quadrant, hiding in a nebula fixing a broken ship, and now I'm missing the best time of the year on Terra. Even though I saved the Empire, YET AGAIN, they don't have the courtesy to call us home and pin some admirals' pips on me. Just another silly medal, delivered by mail."
"You know," answered Yinus, her Trill engineer, "we could have been to Terra in minutes with the transwarp drive, but you we-"
"IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT! Those, those...JERKS at Starfleet told me to stay here and wait...for...stuff."
"I think you're drunk," said the Andorian.
"Absolutely so. You've stopped swearing."
"...Oh. Maybe you're right." R'Shee had been Mazoo's first officer since her very first command; she had learned to recognise just the point when her hard-drinking captain changed from merely tipsy to full-on inebriated. "But who wouldn't be? We conquered this place how many decades ago, and it STILL smells like Bajorans and Cardassians. And Klingons. But especially Cardassians!"
"That may be the Kanar, actually." Yinus and R'shee were just drinking Synthale; they knew that the captain liked to get sauced on New Year's Eve, and somebody had to watch out for her (or rather, any non-humans that glanced at her funny during her rants).
"Why the heck would I order Kanar? That's not something I would do! I hate Cardassians!"
"You obviously like Kanar," answered her first officer.
"And you ordered the cheapest drink on the menu," added the barkeep. "Not a whole lot of Cardassians about on the station; I'm selling this at a loss, and still no one wants it. At least, until you came in tonight..."
"CARDASSIANS!" Mazoo started to rant again. "I have a New Year's resolution: take it down, Number One. I am going to kill a hundreeed Cardassians! Bathe my blade in their blood!"
"Captain, first, we're off duty, so I'm not taking anything down. Second, the Empire is at peace with the Cardassians; we can't just go over there and start killing them, no matter how much they smell, or how much you like Kanar."
"Peace is stupid! Why, when I'm Empress-"
"Ma'am! Captain! Please, watch what you say!" The Ferengi suddenly got quite nervous - there were lots of Starfleet types around, and they didn't take kindly to bartenders getting captains so drunk they started having delusions of treachery. "I think it's time you got off the Kanar, and got some good beer instead."
"I thought the Kanar was the cheapest stuff; she ordered the cheapest stuff." R'shee liked watching lesser folk squirm.
"Well...free is cheap." Yinus was just as nervous as the bartender; she was part of Mazoo's personal...staff. If her captain, to whom she swore an oath of loyalty, got in trouble, it'd be her head rolling, too.
The Ferengi considered this for a very short moment. "Yes, free is rather cheap. Here you go, one beer, on the house. It's a holiday, after all. And look, the New Year started just now."
Captain Mazoo carefully took a sip of her drink - even in her state, she knew Ferengi don't give things away for free, even to a Starfleet Captain. It was really good... "Hey, this isn't beer; beer is gross! I hate beer!"
"It's root beer. I think it's time you layed off the alcohol for a while, Captain."
Mazoo couldn't help but take it. The Ferengi were Allies of the Empire; he owned the restaurant, and he called the shots. Plus, it was tasty.
Last edited by theroyalfamily; 12-28-2012 at