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Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
Looks like you have a long list, but here's another one:

Mission Title: Diplomacy in the Gamma Quadrant
Player @Handle: @Marhawkman
Faction: Klingon
Level Requirement: 35+
Mission Summary: Orions are not the best warriors but they are skilled traders. Melani Di'an has convinced the high council that it is time to attempt to open trade negotiations with an old enemy. The task the High Council has given you is to make contact so that the negotiations can actually begin.

could you post here: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...21#post7163921

PMs or posting here is fine too.
Klingon Mission - Diplomacy in the Gamma Quadrant
Author: Marhawkman
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HLIG3FL3F

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: The difficulty for me as an evaluator of Foundry challenge missions is that I do not know the specifics of the challenge. Without knowing the specific goals this mission was created for I found some of the tasks to be tedious. I also found some of the map designs a little confusing. Overall the map designs were well done and the story dialogue was interesting, although I felt the dialogue could be expanded in some areas. This would flesh out the story a little more. The battles on the "Zelatta System#2" map were glorious and a nice addition to the mission. I would recommend this mission, but you need to expand some of the details, and curtail some of the more tedious elements.

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good and simple grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: The follow on dialogue is well written, and gives the location to start the mission, but the location for the start of the first custom map should be included in the initial mission task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Zelatta System: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Zelatta Surface: This is a detailed map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Without knowing the specifics of the challenge I have to say, the run to the top of the ramp was tedious.
-The Elder appears to be the same NPC as Sella. Is this intentional?

Research Base: This is a detailed map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The base design was very detailed but on the previous map it said "Enter building". The next map is clearly outside so this was a little confusing.
-Without knowing the specifics of the challenge I have to say, running back and forth to find Jeyoun was tedious, especially for the little dialogue it produces at the end of the search.

Zelatta System#2: This is a good map design with several glorious battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Rendevous Point: This is a nice simple map design with well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the map name "Rendevous Point" to read "Rendezvous Point".

ruins: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The "Scan" tasks have no accompanying dialogue following each one and do not make sense. Consider adding dialogue as each one is completed that indicates it is all clear or something along those lines.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. Again, without knowing the specifics of the Foundry challenge I still enjoyed the mission and felt it had a lot more potential in the story. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 12/29/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".