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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 147
# 50
01-24-2013, 06:48 PM
destroyer831642 - welcome to the mayhem of literary challenges (and hopefully you are reading these - I haven't seen you post to this thread. Please do so!).

I liked how the mirror universe characters "won." It's too easy to make the normal universe characters the good guys and the mirror universe characters the bad guys.

One suggestion - add some more descriptive sentences next time. You have a lot of dialogue but not a lot of showing us what happened. Was the mirror ship of the same design? What went through your captain's mind as his/her ship was obliterated? (And is your captain male or female? I missed that.) Details like those would make it more well-rounded.

(And feel free to comment/critique my entry too. That's part of the fun.)