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Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 713
Quote:
Originally Posted by skyline475 View Post
Hey evil, I'm back again xD

Got another mission for you to check out when you can.

Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.4
Author: Skyline45
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HQDWSGADV
Est. Time: 50min
Recommended Difficulty: Normal
Federation Mission - The Wave Empire Ep.4
Author: Skyline45
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HQDWSGADV

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission with several tough battles throughout, great map designs, and well written story dialogue. I would recommend this mission to other players.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: Consider putting the start location of the first custom map in the initial task. It will make it easier for the player to start your mission. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
The Wave Empire Warp Gate: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Please alt stop" to read "Please all stop".
-Consider changing the response button "Helms bring her to an alt stop" to read "Helm, bring her to all stop".

The Wave Empire Warp Gate Docking Station Threshold: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Hmm, It'd be risky" to read "Hmm, it'd be risky"

Transport Shuttle F292: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "a lot of unawnsered questions" to read "a lot of unanswered questions".
-Consider changing "Load torpedos" to read "Load torpedoes".
-Consider changing "Torpedos are deadlocked" to read "Torpedoes are deadlocked".
-Consider changing "I can awnser them" to read "I can answer them".
-Consider changing "Captain, one hostle down" to read "Captain, one hostile down".
-Consider changing "Two hostles coming" to read "Two hostiles coming".
-Consider changing "use those torpedos" to read "use those torpedoes".
-Consider changing "Fire all aft torpedos" to read "Fire all aft torpedoes".

Achilles Maximum Prison: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Achilles System: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Unknown Location: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "the wrap gate now" to read "the warp gate now".
-Consider changing "We'll re-inforce you as soon as we can" to read "We'll reinforce you as soon as we can".
-Consider changing "All hostles neutralized" to read "All hostiles neutralized".

Breen Dreadnought Interior Brig Level: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "According to the ship's logg" to read "According to the ship's log".

NX7 Eclipse Bridge: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing Captain Yuina Skyline's dialogue to triggered dialogue, or make it part of the storyline.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission in the series. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 02/09/2013 on forum posting for: The Wave Empire Series
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.