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Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 937
Quote:
Originally Posted by zaynar View Post
Since I have created my first mission in the Foundry and I would like it to be as good as possible, here is my request for review.

Mission Name: By Any Means
Author: SupremeLegate
Minimum Level: 46+
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HCEDLOVSV
Estimated Mission Length: Does not qualify for the wrapper so I guess less than 15 minutes.

Looking forward to the feedback.
Klingon Mission - By Any Means
Author: SupremeLegate
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HCEDLOVSV

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission for your first time using the Foundry. The map designs are well done but some of the enemy mobs are pretty strong on the "Research Outpost" map. Consider starting with lower level enemy mobs and building them to higher levels as the player crosses the map. Then put the toughest enemy at the end of the map. Also consider developing a little more story to help move the mission forward. There are several great tutorials on Starbase UGC that will help you develop your Foundry skills.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good, short description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good use of the initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
General R'Kaal's Base: This is a good map design and the story dialogue is okay but the map does not seem to be necessary. Consider moving the Generals dialogue following the grant dialogue and you eliminate this map.

N'Ett'A: This is a good map design but the story needs a little more development. Consider adding a little more story dialogue to help make the story a little more interesting.
-Consider changing the response button "Helm, move into rang of the outpost" to read "Helm, move into range of the outpost".

Research Outpost: This is a good map design with several very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider setting the map up so the player moves from one side to the other to search the outpost.
-You used the response button "Continue" quite a bit on this map. It is a pet peeve of mine but I feel there are better responses especially when it comes to BOFF report responses.
-Consider changing the mission task "Acess Computer" to read "Access Computer".
-Consider changing the computer button "Interact" to "Access Computer".

To Battle!: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "What about the date" to read "What about the data".
-Consider changing the response button "The Undine wiped the comuter" to read "The Undine wiped the computer".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing the mission and even though it needs a little more work it is a great start. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".