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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 106
# 105
02-25-2013, 05:04 PM
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Originally Posted by jonsills View Post
Poor Enala. What a way to lay down your life for your companions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hfmudd View Post
sparklysoldier, gulberat: you both almost made me cry, damn you.
Thanks for reading it! Enala may have been originally born out of an LC and only had a few days aboard the ship, but she's a vital part of the Roanoke's history now. She's a symbol of everything they're fighting against when they face the Borg, and of all the people they're fighting to save. :/

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Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Very well done, and not only did you capture the personal effect of it on Azera, you did an excellent job of showing the horror of what the Borg do to people.
Thanks, and I'm glad they both came through so well. Azera and Corspa's argument was, in its more understated way, as hard to write as the later part of the story, and Enala came to life as the story unfolded ways I'd never anticipated when it was just a scribbled outline. This was a harrowing experience for the whole crew, more than I'd ever intended, though it also brought them to life and cemented some of their friendships in ways I hadn't expected either.

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BTW, one question: does she consider "Xi" to be her surname or her first name?
That's a funny story! Short answer: "Azera Xi" is her given name and, like the Vulcans, she doesn't really have a surname. The difference between "Azera" and "Azera Xi" is, for her, kind of like the difference between Kate and Catherine. She goes by Azera with her crew and friends, but in more formal matters and talking to her superiors, she's Azera Xi.

Explanation of that short answer: when I first made her character it was indeed first name Azeri, last name Xi, but the character maker wouldn't accept that. I worked around it by making "Azera Xi" her first name and leaving everything else blank, and after twenty levels of having the admirals calling her "Azera Xi," it actually works in my mind now as a given name.

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Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
That story, as with some of yours, got much longer than I was expecting. I hope you like it, and would be interested to hear your feedback and what struck you as you were reading.
What is it about this topic that inspired us to go overboard with the writing?

I liked it! The confrontation with the Borg cube at the start and using the asteroid to collapse the conduit was very well described, and you did a great job with using Aloysha's inhuman senses and nature to the story's advantage, showing the world from his point of view and how it gives him a unique perspective on other species. I particularly liked your description of how the universe is blue-shifted because everyone's moving through time toward him without ever catching up, and the description of the way he sees Six/Tassok's neurological activity and how unnaturally organized and precise it is. The ending was handled well and resolved naturally without wrapping things up too neatly, and it ended with a memorable closing line.

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Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Fantastic entry, I really enjoyed the integrated flashbacks which built the story on both timeframes, it reminded me of the style of one of my favorite authors, Eric Lustbader, although the content itself was of course very different to Lustbader's typical fare I really liked the interactions between Azera and her crew, and the situations were easy to visualize As a side note, and I can't even say why, the dialogue brought to mind that they were on an NX-Class ship
Thanks! I haven't read his books but I looked up his bibliography on Wiki and it's definitely high praise to be compared to - I'm glad you liked it! I didn't even think of "Enterprise" while writing it, but you know, I can kind of see that. The NX-01 crew's less formal with each other since they're all equally new to space exploration, and Azera's in sort of a similar position as a young, rather informal captain leading a more experienced bridge crew.

I read your story, and it was also impressive! I definitely didn't see the plot unfolding in that direction at all (especially not what happens with Lambert, nor the full nature of the Borg they found), and the reference to the Royal Protocol was a really nice touch, and the phrase "the One Who Is Many" as the Borg's own term for the Queen (since "Borg Queen" is just what the Hansens called her as an allusion to insects). The issue of trusting the new drone seemed to be resolved a little quickly, but she was already halfway an individual, and an individual with no loyalty to the Borg, so it does make sense on a second read (while making for some very vividly, appropriately icky visuals). And besides, as they say at weddings, "I'd like to think I haven't so much lost a Klingon as gained a fledgling Borg Queen!"

And as someone said earlier in the thread, "skinny Risan porn star" paints all the visual we need.

I'll have to run in a second so this next review's a little short, but the references to Romulan culture in jonsills' story are very thorough and Sills' rather eccentric interactions with his crew are a lot of fun to read. There's surprisingly little conflict given the situation, but if a Romulan turned Borg drone offers to join the crew, just say yes - and the explanation that the assimilation process got stopped halfway through and left him as not really a Borg either was nicely visualized as they described his appearance.

And nathankirts may have had the most sensible reaction to finding a drone of us all.