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Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,754
# 609
03-30-2013, 10:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
Federation Mission - Dark Alliance 2: Black Spiral
Author: Skydawn
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HDSFSEJNA

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission in the series. The map designs are good, with excellent innovative techniques that worked very well. The battles are tough, but fun and there are plenty of them to keep even the most battle hardened player entertained. The story dialogue is excellent and kept me riveted to my seat with a desire to see what came next. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who love great maps, tough battles, and excellent story dialogue. You will love this mission and the series so far.

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a nice simple grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: Consider adding the start location for the first custom map to the initial task.. It will make it easier for the player to find it. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good simple use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Belias Orbit: This is a good map design with tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

The Aurora Lounge: This is a great map design with tough battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

New Aurora Compound - East: This is a great map design with tough battles and excellent story dialogue. The Aurora Tram design was very well done. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

New Aurora Compound - North: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I had one question regarding the away team:
-Is the away team being isolated so far away a glitch? I realize they were not needed on this map and it made the story work better, but if it was not a glitch then how did you do it? I am sure there are many authors that would love to find an easier way to isolate the away team rather trying to move the spawn point close to an edge so they become trapped.

Unknown Star Cluster: This is a good map design with a fun battle and excellent story dialogue. It is a good wrap up to this mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Miranian battle ship has photonic Galor?s with it.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and I look forward with anticipation to the 3rd installment in the series.
Brian

This critique report also filed 03/30/2013 on forum posting for: Dark Alliance Series.
I think the only fix for that would be to change from Cardassian ships to another faction - which may or may not be impossible.
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Oh, lovely, I can't even requote the Douglas Adams quote I used to have here I WANT IT BACK!!!!
Dalo Lorn
DaloLorn, StarCraft 2 Roleplayer and proud of it.