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Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,481
# 20
04-17-2013, 11:24 AM
@awesometific - This was a very novel approach to me and really gave me insight into recent Romulan history that is otherwise spread out among various sources.

@stellardrift - Really good stuff! Although i had some challenges keeping up with certain scenes: When Janei ns introduced there is pronoun use which made me reread the passage once of twice to "get it". Maybe I'm slow ...
Quote:
She turned to face the woman behind her and gestured quickly for her to remain outside a moment.
I mean, I get it, but as a separate paragraph I first though only Janei and Ynala were the only two poeple in the scene - this is about a third person!

In the previous paragraph Janei is first mentioned as the Orion woman, but then there is a Romulan woman ... Ynala of course but, again, I had to read the paragraph again because of the flow.

@benkenobi09 - This is a format I'm considering using: a log entry or diary of sorts. So, I'm glad to see it used here because I'm just dipping into "Romulan" stuff and it's a lot to work with in the time I have.
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

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