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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,481
# 20
04-17-2013, 11:24 AM
@awesometific - This was a very novel approach to me and really gave me insight into recent Romulan history that is otherwise spread out among various sources.

@stellardrift - Really good stuff! Although i had some challenges keeping up with certain scenes: When Janei ns introduced there is pronoun use which made me reread the passage once of twice to "get it". Maybe I'm slow ...
She turned to face the woman behind her and gestured quickly for her to remain outside a moment.
I mean, I get it, but as a separate paragraph I first though only Janei and Ynala were the only two poeple in the scene - this is about a third person!

In the previous paragraph Janei is first mentioned as the Orion woman, but then there is a Romulan woman ... Ynala of course but, again, I had to read the paragraph again because of the flow.

@benkenobi09 - This is a format I'm considering using: a log entry or diary of sorts. So, I'm glad to see it used here because I'm just dipping into "Romulan" stuff and it's a lot to work with in the time I have.
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

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